The Deceptive Spider

This poem is about a cruel encounter in which we have all had at one point in our lives. There will always be someone praying on the good hearts.

 She sleeps in silk,
velvet and crimson,
waiting for men unknowing,
webbing with false adoration.

 Spin spun,
her spider like lies,
your love is ecstasy,
heart ambrosia.

 Beautiful succubus,
mainland siren,
devil tailed angel,
the Queen of spiders.

 Sad eyes,
vocal painter,
poet of touch,
a master of games.

 Your oscillation hypnotic,
presence suffocating,
defiler of good men,
how many will satisfy your lust.

 Oh little spider,
we hope you read,
my ode to your deception,
as the doors slam around you.

Author's Note

This poem kinda made me sick while writing it, this is written to the only woman that has ever made me wish to never see them again.

Reviews

[Vanna Renee]

This is great..
I like the way you compare so many things (I'm a metaphor fanatic)
I enjoy that you explained this all in a higher vocabulary and your references will not be understood completely unless you understand the source.
Very very great.
I understand where you're coming from, and it's a talent to write great work while you are really writing about your feelings.
I'm in love with spiders. So whenever I see someone writing with a reference to spiders, I have to read it. This started great, and ended great.
Amazing work.
I don't know how to critique you spiritually in this writing....
But I suppose you could stay more in the lines of the spider in which you refer this woman to. In the middle lines, you seem to avert your attention to the actions of the spider, creating this writing to hold more personal aversion.
My favorite lines are,
"She sleeps in silk,
velvet and crimson,"
"Spin spun," (I enjoy these sort of lines like drip drop, tick tock, etc)
"vocal painter,
poet of touch,
a master of games."
This was overall..
Very very powerful.

[Star Shaped Heart]

and im sure it did make you sick while writing it... i never want to see his face again...

[Star Shaped Heart]

mine was a rattlesnake! i want to write something yet i havent found the inspiration called two snakes and a rainbow...

[Kristie]

This is very well done, really enjoy the metaphors and the references you make. I agree with everyone when they say you can see your emotions in this piece, which is an attribute poets often lack and can be detrimental to the work itself. It's very sophisticated and a great read. Good job =)

[Sweets]

Great poem.
You have a lot of nice vocabulary in it =)
Great job ! :D

[Crow]

This piece is wonderful; very eloquent, states an imagery of inner feeling with restaint. It is obviously heart felt.

I am glad you shared it with us.

[Holly]

Wow, very emotional and intense. Definitely touches my soul as I have been there myself as well, you managed to give such emotions words of life. Very good job :)

[Michael X]

wow, this is awsome, dam great job, I appreciate this being sent to me,
I'll be looking forward to reading more from you as well.

[J.]

Whoa! Now this is really intense! I can feel the emotion seeping from your words here, Josh!