Prologue

Nathan

“But I want a black balloon!” a small four year old Nathan demands.

“Well black balloons aren't very popular among children. They only had a red balloon.” his father answers holding his temper back.

“No! I want a black balloon!”

In his fit the red balloon slips out of his grasp and floats away out of his reach.

“Wait! Come back!”

He hits the boy, across his face.

“See. Now you don’t have any balloons.”

A tear falls down his face.

“I’m sorry daddy.” he says sullenly.

“You should be.”

“Can I have another one, please?”

“No. You lost your balloon. I’m not your mother, willing to deal with your nonsense and coddle you. Now come along.”

He takes his hand forcefully, so that a bruise begins to form against the delicate child's flesh, as Nathan silently cries.

“Hi, Nathan.”

It seems that while staring at the infinite cracks in the ground I had gone into reverie.

I look up to see a young black haired girl. Probably five or six years old, about my age. I cant figure out why she’s here, let alone how she knows my name. No one cares about an insignificant loner like me anyway. So why would someone bother to talk to me while I’m sitting in my usual corner, away from everyone else?

“I’m Lucinda. But everyone calls me Lucie.”

“Hi,” I say blandly.

There’s no point in remembering her name, she’ll just leave me alone in a little while anyway.

She c***s her head to side like a curious puppy.

“Why are you sitting here all alone?”

My brow furrows in confusion. Why would she ask that?

“Because I like being out of the way.”

“Aren’t you lonely?”

“Does it matter? I’m just a bother to everyone anyway.”

“I’ll sit here with you if you want.”

Before I could protest, she sat down next to me, folding her legs under her.

She smiles at me, then takes out a packed lunch in a brown paper bag from her backpack. I watch her, puzzled, as she pulls out a simple lunch consisting of a sandwich, a little container of pudding, and a bottle of water. Then she looks over at me.

“Don’t you have a lunch?” she asks.

I only shake my head.

I watch curiously as she tears her sandwich in half carefully before holding it out to me.

“You can have half of my lunch then.”

I’m about to say no but my stomach growls before I can get a word out. I blush, but she only giggles and gestures for me to take it. I skipped breakfast anyway, I tell myself as I take it, at least I’ll have something in my stomach.

I take a small bite and to my surprise its actually pretty good, despite being a just regular peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

When we both finish our halves, she opens her pudding then holds a spoon out to me.

“Its alright, Aunt Marie packed an extra spoon for me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course!” she smiles.

She has a nice smile. I voice my thanks and take it from her, and we share the pudding.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I ask.

She looks at me at little surprised.

“Well… My mom used to tell me that everyone deserves a little kindness. Especially the ones who don’t get much from the people around them.”

“What do you mean used to?”

Her face falls a bit.

“My parents died in a car accident when I was still a baby. Aunt Marie has raised me for as long as I can remember.”

“Oh… My mom died when I was three.”

She smiles weakly.

“I guess we’re the same in that way, huh?”

“I guess so.”

We fall into comfortable silence.

“What did you mean?”

“Hmm?”

“When you said ‘especially the ones who don’t get much kindness from the people around them,’ what did you mean?”

“Well no one ever talks to you. And you always seem so down on yourself. You’re always just set aside like you don’t mean as much as everyone else.”

“Maybe I don’t mean as much…”

“That’s not true! You mean a lot to me!”

Seeming to realise her outburst she blushes furiously.

I don’t ask, and I can tell she appreciates it.

“Honestly Lucinda I think you’re the only one at this point.”

She returns the favour and doesn't press for an explanation.

“Hey do you want to go to the park tomorrow?” she ask suddenly.

“What?”

“I can ask Aunt Marie. I don’t think it’ll be any trouble.”

“I guess… I can ask my father.”

Her look is somewhat questioning but she doesn't ask.

“My father isn't exactly the most loving person in the world. My brother is four years older than me but he has been a lot nicer to me. He’s was sent to live with my uncle a year ago though.”

“Oh. I see…”

“It doesn’t matter though. Lunch is almost over, I’ll see you later.”

“Oh yeah. Sure. See you in class.”

************************************************************************************************

When I see Lucinda she looks… different. She wears ribbons in her hair and a little black dress with striped tights underneath. But when I think about it, she was dressed like that before too. How did I not notice?

“Hey! You made it!” she runs over happily.

Her smile is genuinely happy,

“Hi, Lucinda. Somehow I managed to convince my father.”

“That’s good.” she says.

Then she grabs my hand and pulls me along.

“Come on then!”

We spend a long time enjoying doing childish things. She supplies most of the conversation. She tells me about her aunt, about her cat, Ghost, and about her interest in art.

I tell her about my old dog, Ace, who was given to me as a puppy from my mother. I tell her about how my father told me he ran away after she died. It was only from my brother that heard the truth. My father had sold Ace. He'd been trying to for a long time but mother wouldn't let him.

She asks why I never confronted him.

"I... can't."

She nods after a moment then gives a sad smile.

We walk in comfortable silence for a while.

She asks about my brother and I tell her how he would always watch out for me. How he got me interested in music and made me feel like things would get better. I tell her how he truly cared about me.

She has a small smile on her face but it fades quickly.

"You're lucky in that way. I never had anyone like that."

Before I can say anything her face lights up again spits into a grin.

"Hey look! Balloons!"

She runs over to stand and hands a dollar to to its owner. The man smiles at her and gives her a red balloon.

As I catch up to her, I check my pockets and frown.

"I don't have any money."

She gives me look of sympathy. Then she smiles a sweet and she takes a step toward me. I stare at her puzzled as a blush comes over her face. She takes my wrist and ties the string around it.

"Its not the best present, but I hope you like it."

I stare at her shocked and stutter over my thanks.

She's such a sweet girl, I think. She'll be ruined by me

Turns out I was right.