melancholy jew

He was the Monday morning of human beings. 

The kind of guy who would confront you in a public restroom if you didn’t wash your hands or shooed you with his fingers and bellowed, “C’mon, c’mon!” the second the stop light changed from red to green. 

In the late afternoon, he started drinking Machiavellian martinis 

and by about 7:30 he’d become vaguely hostile. 

If you asked him a question, he purposely muttered something inaudible. 

If you asked him to repeat himself, he snapped at you and asked to be left alone and then wallowed in a kind of emotional reaction to either good or bad memories for the rest of the night. 

Once during a Passover Seder, with the entire family present, he stood up as if he were going to propose a toast and said: “Jesus Christ, with all the fardreyen kopf and shadenfreuding goin’ on in this family, is it any wonder why we’re so estranged from one another?” 

Then, gulping the last of his Manischewitz Concord grape wine, he stormed out, taking the afikomen with him.

Reviews

[Philip Gaber]

Thanks, MSB, for your seriousness about the work. I really appreciate it.

[Michael Sun Bear]

What a great opening line! I am going to put that in my back pocket although I’ll probably never find the right opportunity to quote you in a conversation. It’s a good thing you are prolific because I am sure getting addicted to your work. So often you hook me almost immediately and then I just hold on tight, because I never know just where you are going to take me. But it’s always an interesting ride. MSB