Is it Rapture or Despair I Feel?

Somehow

I

got

fixed-up

on a playdate

with a girl named

Heidi Krohner.

The only thing I

remember

about Heidi Krohner

is

one day

she

cornered me

in the

coatroom

at school

and asked

me what it was like

to be Jewish.

 

Fortunately

I'd

stayed awake

during Hebrew school

the week before

and was able to

summarize

the lesson

for her,

which

coincidentally

happened to

focus on

the meaning

and purpose

of

Judaism.

 

I said,

“My rabbi

told us

Judaism

is about

prayer

and

service.”

Heidi

thought

about that

for a minute.

She

seemed

confused.

And then

she said,

“My grandmother

said

the Jews

killed

Christ.” 

“God

killed

Christ,”

I said,

peeking

at her toes.

Reviews

[Philip Gaber]

This is exactly right, Glenda. Always had the why question down pat. It was the how question that always left me angry and depressed and what caused my mental dis-ease. 100% I was never a very good networker.
Especially in my younger days. I traveled to LA and New York and just didn't meet the right people or stretched my tentacles. I always fell into that little boy trope of my youth...Philip is quiet, polite, an underachiever, not a go-getter, horrible student. Just did nit have it in me.. I fell on those lies for years and years. Now it's very late and I'm getting so tired, as you said. I became an old man before I was ready. Mahalo, friend.

[Glenda]

"Peeking at her toes"...You can't have mistaken that for an absence of libido. That is full libido! I think you are just tired. For a long time you've pursued a dream without really knowing the steps to take to fulfill it. You HAVE the SKILLS! You have been running yourself ragged running down the dream. You're tired because you need to rest. Just clear your mind and rest, Philip. You have a legit cause to just stop and chill until you 'feel' like returning to the grind. I will never turn my back on you as long as you want me as a friend..