12/24/12

I have

spent

the majority

of my life

without

female companionship.

 

Some say it's

because

I'm lazy.

 

Some say it's

because

I'm too shy.

 

Some say it's

because

I'm too selfish.

 

Then there are those

who say it's because I've

been rejected too

many times, or

I'm sexually repressed or

a closet homosexual or

clinically depressed or

hostile or

not aggressive enough or

oblivious or

unfeeling or

even autistic,

while others

blame it

on my family.

 

The truth is I blame it

on being a very truthful slothful man.

 

Your Honor, I rest my case.