I wanna make an art-house film for an art-house crowd

I wanna make an art-house film for an art-house crowd.

 

There’ll be no emotional climax, and it won’t reach a clear conclusion, but it will unfold in a way that will keep you guessing.

 

It’ll be a fractured story of a man and a woman, and their ideas will clash against one another like two hearts stored in a store-bought cooler battling for the chance to be transplanted into the body of an obscenely wealthy recipient.

 

Their relationship will endure many months of awkwardness and strong undercurrents of tension, sadness, and anger. Eventually, they will each learn the folly of clinging to defensive illusions too late.

 

It’ll premier at the Sundance Festival, where I hope it will be the start of its journey to critical acclaim.

 

The New York Times will say my art-house film for an art-house crowd is “intellectually stimulating” and “aesthetically bold,” and one of my aspiring something or other friends will say it’s more poignant and less reliant on the tired tricks and predictable posturing than my previous films and I’ll nod meaningfully and thank them.

 

It’ll be distributed on a limited basis to a few art-house-friendly venues across the country; however, it will not enjoy a particularly successful theatrical run mainly because of its “cerebral experience,” which ultimately means I will not be able to move out of my spartan apartment above my parent’s garage into that small bungalow where the trees and shrubs are strategically planted to block the view of my neighbors like I originally planned.

 

Reviews

[Philip Gaber]

If my parents had anything to say about it back in the day, they'd have renovated our doghouse, and that's where I'd be.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

This sounds like a movie about one of my exes and me.
Tensions, undercurrents...so sad when we don't know when to end the film.
We make it about an hour too long.
Maybe your next film's proceeds will be more and you can move out of garage.
j.