such a fine line between homage and plagiarism

They say writers are

shameless sons-of-b*****s,

filled with hubris.

Or maybe it was just

Norman Mailer, who used to say that.

I dunno.

Anyway, I got a little lazy.

My non-tenured writing instructor was telling

me I needed to lie down

1000 words a day,

5 days a week.

I was stuck.

I’d taken a job at a drive-through

cleaners making two hundred

bucks a week, and I was

just too damn tired to sit down

at the old Underwood and commit

that kind of language to the page.

So I ended up taking a tape recorder

to the streets with me.

I’d record whatever I could.

Let the tape roll.

Arguments, diatribes, monologues, didacticism,

laughter, tears, rambling, mumbling, cursing,

petitioning, prayers, proposals, seductions,

propositions, levity, brevity, serenity, insanity.

I was after something

I couldn’t create or recreate it.

I was tired of my voice on the page;

it sounded too much like

my father and every other

ne’er-do-well I knew.

It had become hoarse,

course,

full of remorse,

everything I’d been fighting against

since my undergraduate days at

Ball State University, where I’d won

a Dave Letterman scholarship

for maintaining a C average.

What my writing teacher didn’t know

wouldn’t hurt her.

So I’d go to Washington Square Park

in New York City,

sit under a tree,

light a Marlboro,

turn on the recorder,

and watch poverty and art

f*****g in public again.

Reviews

[Philip Gaber]

Jacob, I appreciate your time. I would love to sit in on a writing class to see and hear what kids are writing about these days. A generation has passed since I was last in a situation like that. I'd love to know who they're reading, who their biggest influences are, and whether they're digging into the past so they can compare those older voices with more current voices. I'm sure I would find it interesting.

[Philip Gaber]

Thank you, Brad. I wanted an abrupt punch at the end. I thought the sentiment expressed the character's sarcastic, cynical side of the piece. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing your perspective. Thanks for your time!

[Brad]

I like this poem. It has an honest, friendly open character. I like some of the word flourishes that remorse sequence was fun to read. I enjoyed the casual downbeat of the authorial character. I could see him and his recorder.

But I thought the last lines didn’t quite do justice to the impetus of the poem. Yes they were conclusive and wrapped it up. But, somehow I felt they should have somehow linked to the character speaking more. It’s like they commented on what he was seeing rather than expressed him. Now if he had said something about the public’s f*****g indifference. That might have worked better for me. Or possibly “public poverty f*****g with my art” would have said it all to me.

As for numerically scoring a poem. I think I must refuse on principle. This is my first post here. So feel free to give me some feedback.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Being a writing teacher myself, I completely appreciate this.
I think I will turn on a recorder now and use what I get from it to write the next poem.
Feeling much like just a conduit when I write...I feel there is a poverty to my art...
Creativity that does not belong to me.
I especially like the last stanza of this but the whole poem is so creative and is reality.
j.

[Philip Gaber]

There are so many rules with people people have created over the years. I like to break them all. One reviewer of my book said that I intentionally try to create a hazy ruse for the reader to figure out. That was accurate. It wasn't a glowing review; rather, it was a somewhat encouraging one. I've never bothered with a minimum number of words. Every time I sit down to write, I just write until I've had enough writing. Sometimes that's five words, sometimes 5000. When it flows like a river the faster I paddle...Good convo, Bill...as I sit here looking at the letters of John Cheever. He was a true tactician.

[roarke]

Hm, but of course, of course. I’m thinking of using a small voice recorder again. I used one twenty five year ago because so much of my time then was eaten up by commuting, and I’d forget by the time I got home. Among other things. Today it’s all about forgetting, and trying to catch the odd moment of inspiration. lol

Word count. I started out working on something called “flash fiction”… a friend of mine who actually took writing in college said three was no such thing… whatever. My word count struggled around 300-500 words of gibberish. But I too heard to be considered “serious” that pounding out 1500 words a day was a start. Hey, if Harlan Ellison could pound out 3k typing with two fingers… I got nothing to argue about.

Trouble was, within a couple months, 1500 grew to 3k… 3k of gibberish.. and then I had to edit it down to 1500… and if problems persisted, strip it down to 300-500…. One step forward, six back…. But somehow, I use the benefit of the “word count” as a tool, nothing more. My “serious” writes usually run to the 3k+ range and poetry stays around 300 or less. Everything in between is just “for fun”… oh, and it’s all still gibberish.

As writers, there’s ALWAYs something to “work through” and god forbid somebody throws writers block in… lol