no help in truth

My mom calls me.

“How are you?” she says.

“Fine,” I say.

“Are you meeting anyone?”

“I meet people everywhere I go, Ma.”

“What sort of people?”

“People.”

“W****s and misfits?”

“W****s and misfits?  Ma, what makes you think �" how do you even know about w****s and misfits?”

“Believe me, I know.”

I sigh.  “Dad there?”

”He’s napping.”

“Jesus, does he ever not nap?”

“Don’t be fresh…Have you met any nice girls?”

“I meet a lot of nice girls.”

“Who aren’t w****s?”

“I don’t go out with w****s.”

“What about that Puerto Rican girl?”

“She was Dominican.”

“Whatever…”

“She wasn’t a w***e.”

“Are you still seeing her?”

“Noo…”

“Then she’s a w***e.”

“Ma!”

“I know a w***e when I see one.”

“You never saw her.”

“I didn’t have to see her…I heard.”

“What did you hear?”

“What I heard was sufficient.”

“Ma…”

“What do you got against marriage?”

“Nothing.”

“So why aren’t you married?”

“I haven’t found the right girl, yet…”

“Don’t gimme that.”

“Marriage is not for everyone.”

“Spoken like a true misfit.”

“I’m not a misfit!”

“What was the point of dropping out of school?”

“I wasn’t learning anything.”

“And what are you learning now?”

“I’m learning to stay away from home.”

“Very funny.”

“I’m not joking.”

“You’re a fresh boy.”

“You want I should be stale?”

“You better tell better jokes than that in your act.”

“Don’t worry about my act.”

“I blame your father.”

“For what?”

“For being too soft.

“Ma…”

“He’s always been soft.”

“He’s a man, he’s got flaws, so what?”

“When are you coming home?”

“Never.”

“Stop it.”

“You think I’m joking?”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.”

“When?”

“Always.”

“Now that you should put in your act.”

“One day, I swear to God, Ma, you’re gonna be proud of me.”

“I should live that long? Don’t hold your breath.”

“How come our conversations are so antagonistic?”

“Because you’re fresh, and you’re unresolved.”

I laugh.  “Unresolved?…Jesus Christ, when your mother says you’re unresolved…”

“Goodbye, sonny.”

“Ma?”

“What?”

“Love you.”

“What else is new?”