thorn in the lover

I woke up this morning and thought about what you said the other day; how you hoped I wouldn’t turn out to be like all those other guys.

Like Reginald Lukas who only smiled whenever somebody said "Cheese!"

Or Takeuchi Hidemichi who smelled like he owned a fish hatchery.

Or Crispin Dumont who lived in a motel room near Highway 61.

Or Louis-Sebastien Aubert who kept insisting he was an "entrepaneur."

Or Charlie Crowder who just liked to sit on a park bench all day long.

Or Mike Mcgahan who played the ukulele in the nude.

Or Leonard Lagrand who drank all day and played solitaire all night.

Or Laszlo Roskam who said he was the saddest son-of-a-b***h you’d ever want to meet.

Or Manny Malkoff who believed he was going to be the next something or other.

Or Florian Schultz who was always falling and breaking some bone in his body.

Or Mohammad Lawson who only said his prayers when he was in front of a judge.

I thought about all those guys and tried to figure out why you’d even think I’d be anything like them.

Is it because I prefer to be alone on Christmas, writing poetry?

Because my New Year resolves to read the entire works of Dr. Seuss?

Because I still eat Chef Boyardee and Cap’n Crunch cereal?

Because I like to play my Djembe African drum in the middle of the night?

Because I observed Holy Communion during last year’s Passover Seder?

Because I wear brown shoes with a tuxedo?

Because I haven’t outgrown "The Catcher in the Rye"?

Because people often describe me as being "wild" and "unkempt?"

Because I never walk in a straight line?

Because I like to drink with the winos on Potrero Hill?

Because I was obsessed with movies that contain graphic violence and biblical themes?

I guess I should probably just ask you some time, heh? Instead of posting this on my website?

Alright, then, I’ll do that.

Reviews

[JessyJacob]

Hi phil, you wrote nice lines describing the true nature in different names and the ways. I like to follow your style next time.

Hope you have a good day.

Jessy jacob.

[JayG]

• how you hoped I wouldn’t turn out to be like all those other guys.

Umm... given that this line specifies "ALL" the others, listing 11 "other guys" by name seems a bit redundant. And quite frankly, if "all the other guys" AND the one speaking turned out the same, were I this unknown person being talked about, I'd begin to question my criteria for selection.

That aside, since every person listed is shown as being different, how can the speaker be "like them?" This makes no sense.

• I thought about all those guys and tried to figure out why you’d even think I’d be anything like them.

Who is this "you" that you speak of? You know, but the reader lacks context,

You list 11 possibilities for why this not introduced person might think the speaker is like the 11 very different people you mention. But why stop there? Seriously, there's an infinite number of things you could mention Why limit it to 11, or even need one, given the intro line.

Keep in mind that people come to poetry to be made to feel and care — to be entertained — not read a list of what matters to you.

Try a read of Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook. It's a really good intro into the ways to make your words sing to the reader of poetry,
https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596