Empty Hole

I heard a song and it made sense to me, it really hit home and this poem and focused around how I feel about certain things along with the emotion of the song.

My heart isn't here anymore.
Can you see the hole in my chest?
The place where something should be.

I think it shattered,
I think it broke.
Maybe it disappeared,
If you choose to peer,
You'll see the reasons why.

Something happened,
Something you can't erase
or forget.
This unforgettable memory, fresh in my mind.
It caused the collapse.
It's what caused the void.
Do you see it now?
The reasons behind it?
I'm fueled by what it use to be,
Now it's gone, empty and abandoned.

Can you feel my heart beating?
Can you feel my pulse?
No, you can't.
It's obvious isn't it?
You took the missing piece with you.
The thing that will complete the hole in my chest.
I wonder if I'll ever feel that warm feeling again.
It's to late though.
My hearts not beating.
It's not even there no more.
It dried out.
It died.

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems. :l
Also, if it doesn't sound very good, I kind of rushed through it, so sorry.

Reviews

[Amber "Victoriomantic" ..]

You can definitely tell this poem was based around a song. The rhythm and pace of it almost makes the poem seems like lyrics.

Brilliant imagery and emotion runs through this piece-you should be proud of it. Anyone who has suffered a broken heart can relate, and it's always good for poetry to be able to reach other people and grab their attention and emotions. You've definitely done it with this piece; thoroughly enjoyed it!

[yash]

i liked the progression of the in the whole... It's a good work still ignoring the grammaticals, which can't get ignored. May i point out the spelling mistakes since you didn't to forbid for those.............just joking....

[zaneybear]

this piece definitely reminds me of lyrics, I actually really enjoyed it, it conveys all of the emotions of a heartbreak to me. I love it. kep writing

[himal]

I like the way you have written and shown the pain through ur writing. Keep writing :)

[cas7787]

I really like it! I think we've all been in this position, and you did a great job of putting into writing something we have all experienced!!

[Radacach]

wow very deep! can really feel the pain, sadness and hurt through your word choice! so vivid! great poem!

[LoveDens]

As long as we live, love will always be the principle of existence. It does not die darling, just having rest.

And when it beats again, you will still agree with me that "it is always nice to be in love".

[yash]

Your words are so positive!!

[LoveDens]

Yes. Thank you for that. I guess negative words or even just thoughts will never bring any good.

[yash]

and there you go again..

[LuciaMarie]

This is very emotional, and very powerful. The way you wrote this really pulled me in an made me feel the emotion behind every word. This is also a piece I'm sure many people can relate to, because many have felt like this at some point in their life

[Angel With A Shotgun]

For rushing through it, like you say, I think it's amazing. It really catches the emotion and I know the feeling of missing pieces. This poem is really deep, and honestly? I have nothing negative to say about it at all!

[Arabdha]

I could feel the heartache..brilliant !

[darkgurl]

WOW! this is powerful and deep.
I enjoyed this alot. Very well written as well.
You are very talented.