Legacy

A Story by ChibiKong

The feelings of a girl who found her dead big brother

Legacy

The hallway was silent. No one was home, so you thought that was the perfect time. So you closed yourself away in your room. Scared, alone, angry, guilty and distressed. Yet, you ignored it all. Cut, cut, cut . Your wrist opened, and bled. You forgot your pain, because this pain was worse. Stab, slash, stab. Deeper you went, looking for relief.

Drip. A tear rolled down your cheek. No one loved you, or so you told yourself. You told yourself that you were better than this, but then you looked at your tattered clothes. You were messy. You were an emotional wreck. Everybody, and I mean everybody, knew you were. The scars went up your arms, down your legs, and all across your sides. You were falling apart inside, and no one did anything.

You cried for help, but no one was there. Remember? You made sure of that. Pray, but God couldn’t save you from yourself. Dizzy, dizzy, you hit the ground. You’re gone, dead, no one can hurt you now.

There was a scream, but you didn't hear it. It was for you. A scream you caused. Mom cried for you. You were loved, you still are. The medics came and rolled you away. You were put in the ground, but not all of you was gone. What about that huge blood stain you left? That was going to be my room. Now I can't go near it without thinking about what you did to us. Us, your family, your friends, even the people you consider acquaintances. They loved you. They wanted you to be happy, but now you're just a headstone.

I hurt now. I'm sure just as much as you did when you left me. I thought you were supposed to protect me. You can’t do that anymore. What kind of a brother abandons his little sister like that? I shouldn't blame you, but it’s so hard. If you were hurting, why didn’t you come to me? Why did you decide to be so weak?

I don’t know why I'm writing this. It’s not helping anything. You will always be gone, and I will never be able to see you again. So, Onee-san...do you remember when I called you that? I do. Sometimes I wake up screaming it out. I won’t ever be able to forget your dead body. That’s your legacy. The boy that killed himself in his room, and I’m the girl that walked in on her big brother’s dead body. People call you a coward. Are you okay with that?