Heavy Glow

If I die young.....

There was hair on your pretty chin

Your face looked like mine...touch

Held me close, your baby girl

Whisper of "I love you"...much

 

There was light in the sky in April

A heavy glow in your hair...brown

Your eyes illustrate love in a twinge

A heavy fall of your lips...down

 

There was strawberry shake on your hand

Your pink cheeks held the sun...giggle

Bouncing curls in my face, on my lips

A tiny wet kiss on my nose...wiggle

 

There was a warmth in your hands

Holding me close to your body...sigh

My name made pleasant upon my cheek

The warm hand falls on my face...cry

 

There was a smile on soft lips

A laugh completely goofy...sweet

His touch gentle in a sultry way

Come on baby, feel it...heat

 

Heavy glow in brown eyes...I am loved

Heavy glow in your hair...my love

Heavy glow on your cheek...my baby

Heavy glow in your hands...my rock

Heavy glow in your laugh...maybe?

Author's Note

If I die young....atleast I've loved in every way. If it doesn't make sense, I'm sorry.

Reviews

[Bette]

humm i am wondering if you where listening to the Perry's when you wrote this. well done seams to me you marked things in your life that made you happy...a child perhaps or maybe you yourself are the child either way good write.

[Aven]

This was very sad...but also very cute in the way it was written. I love your style. :)

[FlawedByDesign]

Just like Corey I cannot make up my mind as to the tone of the poem, but I think it definitely breaths hope.
The flow is good apart for the 4th stanza where you go from a "you" to a "he" in,
"His touch gentle in a sultry way".

[Crowley]

Wow....strong poem and stronger author's notes. Can't decide if this is sad sad, or hopeful sad. Either way, I love the rhythm and the use of punctuation to accentuate points and flow....you are getting very good at that. Alot of people stay away fom punctuation in poetry, as long as its not overdone I think it adds alot. Nice job here sweet....you have been busy.