Baby

Ummm...enjoy?

Just a loving breath

Uneven cause Heaven put holes in you

Baby, you're orange

Just straight orange, none of that bright s**t

 

Just a gentle breath

Timid in a way still revealing

Baby, you're perfect

Just fine perfect, none of that Ken Doll s**t

 

Just a falling breath

The last coming unfollowed to turn

Baby, you're bliss

Just pure bliss, none of that emotional s**t

 

Baby, you're a breath

Author's Note

I was sitting here at the computer watching the clouds pass, looking to be brushing the tree tops. It was so gentle and warm. And then I thought of you and this is what happened. Here's your poem.....baby.

Reviews

[FlawedByDesign]

I like how you bring it down to specifics "without all that s**t" :)
What happens though when that breath is gone? What happens to you?

I loved, "none of that Ken Doll s**t" - made me laugh, but then again what girl hasn't played with Barbies and Kens (you probably thought, "OMG Ken is so dreamy" - just teasing) when she was little.

Well done.

[Elwina]

I really loved it, because of the emphasis you put on reality here (in opposion of all the "---- s**t" 's)
It shows us how real is your love for this person, and I liked that.
And i love the breath metaphor.
Nice poem :)

[Akshat♥]

this one is so soft & sweet one.... it puts up a beautiful picture in my mind.but some lines make me laugh too..like the emotional s**t,ken doll one.this poem is very impressive.Great work:)

[.]

"Just a falling breath
The last coming unfollowed to turn
Baby, you're bliss
Just pure bliss, none of that emotional s**t
Baby, you're a breath"
...this poem is awesome...
-with 'none of that emotional s**t':-)))
Really--Love It...:-)

james:-)

[Harley]

Haha, I did enjoy this quite a bit. I can see very clearly in my mind how soft and warm it is. And I did, admittedly, giggle a tad when I read the Ken Doll line, because no one really WANTS that, like you pointed out. I love you, great work.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Oh, I like this .. Baby, you're orange... i love that line.And who wants a Ken doll! another good line.

Seems the clouds gave you much inspiration as did 'baby'.. this is really a nice poem with vivid images.. Enjoyed it!
Chloe

[Coyote Poetry]

"Baby, you're orange." That must mean good? I like this poem. The flow, the story filled with happiness. A very good ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Adelia Alighieri]

I like it; it puts up a beautiful picture in my mind, especially after I read your author's note and got what inspired you. =) Keep writing, baby.

[Crowley]

OMG....that was perfect....nothing else to say. Bravo.