Use Me Tonight

Enjoy...

He sat

 

Arms splayed, hands making holes in the bed beside him

Head in his lap, eyes counting the threads in his jeans

His blood stained lips hung silently around her name

His ears replaying her screams, neglecting the doors creak

 

I sat

 

Taking the crushing weight of his broken hand into mine

Bringing his thumb to my lips, saying his name into his palm

Holding the steady drumming of his pulse to my ear

Letting his name take another fall from my open lips

 

He pushed

 

With every remaining ounce of his fading virility

A breaking whisper told me to leave him to himself

Ripping his hand from me, a shout to strengthen the whisper

His eyes blood shot and broken, negating his words

 

I pushed

 

With every ounce of love my breaking heart held for him

Stealing his hand into mine, to cradle it without resistance

Making my presence unequivocally evident to his eyes

Refusing to let him fall deeper into the hole he had begun to dig

 

He cried

 

Tears that made hell seem like a euphoric bliss

Forcing his hands through my hair to pull me closer

His lips making sobbing quivers against mine in silence

Letting his wall fall hard into my mouth; no less of a man

 

I cried

 

Pushing my hands against his shaking, bare chest; wet

His trembling lips desperately groping the dark for mine

His broken eyes watered with a touch of confusion

His lips beg me for just one night, just one more time

 

He said

 

He loved me as his fingers made it seem the undying truth

Removing the ties from my hair to tickle my chest lightly

As the clothes fell to the floor to mark the point of no return

He said her name into my lips as he moved into me

 

I said

 

I loved him too through the tears marking my face

I apologized to him in his ear as my voice broke

And in a room so silent, the noise was deafening

I said I loved him as he cried and screamed her name

Author's Note

Use me.

Reviews

[Jenny Nelson]

Well, can't say as I woud ever care to be used by anyone, not matter how much I cared for them, would be kind of a "mood killer," but this is an exotic piece. Definitely well written and wonderfully descriptive, conveying well an image and a feel. Great piece; well done!

[Rossen]

Neat and tidy well organized clean as a whistle...

[Kes]

Wow, I love this. I'm always shaken when someone uses the words 'he' and 'screamed' in the same sentence. I suppose it's a childhood thing, you know? Men are strong and calm, women are weak and hysterical - you get the idea. It's funny how that still happens in modern fairytales. It's a bit sexist really...
But anyway, i'm ranting, so yeah, i really loved this poem. It's so beautiful... so sad. The imagery is fantastic, the topic is hearbreaking - it's all i could ask of a poem!

I said I loved him as he cried and screamed her name.

Ugh, that line is so powerful! I'm completely in love with it!
I think the saddest, most shameful thing is that in the same situation, i'd probably do the same thing. (a) I'm a hopeless romantic, for all my cynicism and (b) I'd rather make someone else happier than cheer myself up. I'm stupid like that - in this world where's it's every man for himself. Or woman, in my case.
Thanks for sharing; this is truly breathtaking.

[Elwina]

This is heartbreaking. Very powerful.
How broken he is, you picture it so perfectly, so vividly.
How she loves him... that she would give herself to him like that, just to make him feel a little better, just to get a touch from him. I just wish she could protect herself...
I love the form of the poem too.
I love your work Cheyenne !

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

damn. this is powerful!!! i was gripped by the different back stories my mind played out.

hands making holes in the bed beside him

that image grabbed me from the very start. i also really enjoyed the structure.. it gave an added power to your message.

extremely well written, with crisp visuals and no superfluous words.. and the content is slick and haunting!

[Harley]

Oh God, this brings back such horrible memories of being used myself, though never in such a way as this. It's heart breaking the way this goes on, how humans are so fragile that they will take any chance and be used for nearly everything. Your wording is so in rhythm with the feel of this poem, like you're telling a firsthand story. I personally feel a touch of heartache at this wondering if I could ever be so self-sacrificing to do something like that for someone I loved so deeply.

[River Wilson]

What a sad poem, i hope this is not from personal experience.
It really makes me, empathize with her.
Also though, i want to talk some sense into her.
This, really got to me.

[Antonio Valentino]

Well when you say, use me, you mean as, I am here for you, always, when you need me, yes?

Cheyenne, this is spot on writing, seriously, it is obvious you have a real talent painting emotion with words to make them flow off the page to steal breath and make songs pause on gaze and skin.

This was really remarkable friend. You have a deep heart, filled with endless laughter and tears.

Antonio :)

[FlawedByDesign]

You've made me ask a thousand questions, form so many stories in my head, but I can't figure out why his lips are bloody and he is so shattered and broken. In fact, I think I know, but I don't want to know :)

I like the chronological order and the way each stanza is preceded by an action as if to lead you into the gripping words below.

Nicely done :)

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is amazing. A roller coaster of emotion. Each detail moved the poem along till the wild and crazy ending. I like the story and the desire in your words. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

WOW every verse is so gripping... I was especially taken by this one...

I pushed

With every ounce of love my breaking heart held for him
Stealing his hand into mine, to cradle it without resistance
Making my presence unequivocally evident to his eyes
Refusing to let him fall deeper into the hole he had begun to dig


amazing what we will endure for someone we care about, even when they don't return the feelings.
All around impressive work.