Midnight Blues

I sat upon the midnight blues
I crush my fist into the grass
I pulled a weed root and all
and still the stars shone through.

Come sit with me a while.

I might have been a superstar or just another joe
I pulled out some lemon-aid
it put a deep despair in me
and I drank it all away.

Ohhh I can see it all.
And still the stars shine through.
I sat upon the midnight blues.

Author's Note

I couldn't decide if the line should read: it put a deep despair within me
Or: it put a deep despair in me
I'm leaning towards the second option though.

Reviews

[annabellee]

gorgeous write, it flows so easily. I like the second option better, too.
Well done :)

[Constance Payne]

I actually like the first....it reads easier.
I have a recent understanding of this poem.

I like it very much.

[Chet]

It's interesting to see different viewpoints on this. I will leave it as is for the time being. I remember a painter that used to sneak back in to the museum to do some touch up work on his painting. I don't remember who that was (very famous) but that's how I feel about things I write. Each time I look at it I want to fine tune it just a little bit more. This poem was inspired by someone that was getting on my nerves. I hope that didn't happen to you too!

[K.]

I'm not a good person to consult for poems but I think think "it put a deep despair in my" rolls off the tongue easier! But other than that, it was a great poem! Better than what I could've written! Great job :)

[Chet]

I agree Kassie! Thank you for your feedback. I will make that change!