Drowned

The water,

freezing against my pale-white skin,

covers me.

 

My lungs are full,

not of air.

 

I can't breathe...

I'm choking.

trying to grab the top.

but it seems

that I'm only sinking further.

 

Desperately grasping for the life to re-enter my body.

 

Flashbacks of my life,

the good,

the bad.

 

All the ones I have loved,

and lost.

 

Every face I've ever seen

concentrate in my memory.

 

Everything gone.

Nothing left.

 

Drowned.

 

 

Reviews

[bluntdude]

I like water, so I enjoyed reading this. I could picture this in my head as I use to lifeguard as well. Hopefully you never have to experience actual drowning, one of the most painful ways to go! Anyways, good write and write what comes to mind

[Aehr]

wow.. such an amazing poem! the feel is beautiful, it really describes drowning well...
Gotta shelve this one!

[Alab]

I wish you didn't write drowned at the end. kind of spoils the overall feel of the poem. nice imagery though.

[Bare trees]

Scary poem. You described it in a way that gives me the shivers. I can almost feel the water going down my mouth.

[Death Stalker]

I like this poem! I got "into it" almost instantly as I started to read it! Which is good :)

[Savior knowmore]

I believe this is relatable. I for one, found it easy to relate to, in a metaphorical and literal way. This is a good read, and I'd give it a 9.2 out of 10. I think that the differences in stanzas was strange, though. Some are a line, others three or four. It seems strange to read, but everyone has their own personal style.