Overcoming emotional abuse

 

 

Overcoming emotional abuse

"Emotional abuse is about someone manipulating your emotions on a psychological level," "And it goes beyond simple verbal bullying." Emotional abusers may come across as bullies, yet they are often "silent monsters" that fake affection while knowing precisely how to manipulate situations, hurt and humiliate their victims and do whatever it takes to stay in control of the situation and their victims. Emotional abusers are masters of manipulation, lying, intimidation and guilt. "They’ve been perfecting what they do to people ever since they were little -- and they chose to be this way," she adds. "They don’t want to change and they don’t care who they hurt as long as no one suspects them, and the situation works for them."

Sarah had no idea this was happening to her, she assumed that the man she met , this was his character, but after her children were born things got worse, he would than go on to find everything wrong, accusing her of being a bad mother to a fat and ugly wife. Sarah began to research and find out what was wrong with her. She would accept what her husband would tell her and make every effort to change, and no matter how she tried, he would find something wrong and find ways to demean her. His entire family had a habit of finding fault with people, it seemed to be ingrained in them. You must wear more make-up they said, you must dress in a certain way, at first Sarah thought that they were trying to help her be a better person, but when she researched she found out they were emotionally abusing her. She would spend hours feeling low about herself and make all kinds of efforts to be more beautiful , or read more to be a better mother, but soon learnt all it did was strip her of self-esteem. Often when these criticisms took place she would think about what she could change about herself, she read up that criticism was healthy and made you grow, but in her situation it made her low, as soon as she changed something else was found wrong with her. Eventually she began to fight back, she secretly went for help and got it. Eighteen years later she finally left him. She found that she spent so much time emotionally abused that it became a way of life. Now she had to rebuild the way she thought. The fear that all people do this type of thing plagued her and the only place she felt safe was alone, and this is the way she stayed. But as time went by she slowly began to believe in herself again and go out and try life again. The battle is to overcome on a daily basis. One way she overcame

She taught her children

What is truth?

If what the person is saying about you or to you is not true

You get to choose what will you believe

This is a powerful principle she taught herself and her children

Since her children still lived with their father, he did the same thing to them, since they were still young she taught them what to accept and reject, she taught them the difference between healthy criticism and emotional abuse

In the end she conquered, even though she had to go through eighteen years of confusion , and doubt and depression about herself.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Psychology has its own predisposed ideas. The school of thought that "one size fits all" or one rule applies to every situation is (in and of itself) a very dangerous precept in my opinion. What is needed is critical thinking and the application of logic and judgement tempered by the understanding of every individual situation. I can't very well walk a mile in my brother's shoes until I have worn them. I do not hold in disdain the opinions of others but I acknowledge that they are no more than opinions. Opinions do not form truth. Even personal perspective does not form truth. An addict in denial believes there is no problem. But the addiction still exists. We must weigh evidence and actions against belief and motive. We cannot correct a problem by treating the symptoms. I enjoy your writings.