As I - A Reworking...

A reworking of an older piece.

I drift and sense

Feel with aching soul

Release my breath

Inhale beauty

I touch and shiver

Heat with passion

Caress danger

Taste the stars

Romance fiction

Release my breath

Inhale desire

I soar and dream

One with clouds

Release my breath

Inhale freedom

 

Reviews

[Lorraine]

I like this version better. It has a smoother flow. I specifically like the lines "Caress danger, Taste the stars." The impossibility of these phrases made them so much powerful.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Krishna]

Wonderfully written! I loved the use of repeating inhalations and exhalations .. it made me breathe along with the poem and definitely added an extra element of sensory input to the experience. Keep up the great work!

[Ashley.M.E]

This is good, i'm overly tired or I would say more. Though even with my bad migraine and exhausting state your poem got my attention.

[Jibey]

It felt hot and breath-less!

[Thomas Fleet]

Vivid imagery and feeling.
I get a sense of both calmness and passion.
Great read! :)

[Gandré]

Creative and lyrical poetry, airy.. and beautiful. I liked "Release my breath

Inhale desire". This is so deep. Thank you for your reading request. Perhaps you like to read one of my pieces.

[Dane Osborne]

Well written piece. I liked this. It seemed to be about embracing life through our sensations and finding freedom from that. Kudos:)

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a wonderful almost magical poem about love and heartache.