Perfect Spheres

Their eyes were perfect spheres

There never came a last,

Drowned roses sleep here

 

Never nothing to fear

Here, it's all over fast,

Their eyes were perfect spheres.

 

Stretched across the landscape, one tear

On a pink morning, shy and vast,

Drowned roses sleep here.

 

Generations flashing and crashing, here,

Wine- colored expanse, frightened glass,

Their eyes were perfect spheres.

 

Mute kaleidoscope motion, disappear,

Marble souls on ghost carousel, speeding past,

Drowned roses sleep here.

 

Bloodshot entanglement will adhere,

Entertaining vicious echoes, thinking it aghast.

Their eyes were perfect spheres,

Drowned roses sleep, here.

Author's Note

This is my first try at a villanelle poem. Hope you guys like! :)

Reviews

[paul sal.....]

someone over water the roses?

[Frontier]

LOL y'know 2 years later and I don't like this poem...I agree its too much soggy flowers.

[paul sal.....]

I like the story. I looked up the definition of villanelle poem and i'll be damned if yiou didn't teach this old dog a new trick, I even printed the template

[Frontier]

Hey Paul.........nice to hear from you..

[Steve87]

I thought that was a good try. Some great words about love coming and going. Seems veal realistic

[JC]

This has the feel of a surrealist painting, the images and emotion fractured and coming together to form something that is not entirely clear to me, yet is intriguing and leaves me searching...

[Frontier]

thanks Jason :P

[Parimal Pratyush]

Nice write ma'am. This is good. You have done justice to it with your attempt. Thank you for sharing.

[Frontier]

thank you Parimal :)

[jonah]

thank you. i really never heard of villanelle before. i just knew it after reading your poem. amazing and striking work with powerful flows. really love it!

[Frontier]

glad you liked it Jonah :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You did very well.
"Generations flashing and crashing, here,
Wine- colored expanse, frightened glass,
Their eyes were perfect spheres."
I did do formatted poetry in college. I like the above lines. We can wear glasses to hide fear or hide unknown. Thank you my Poet friend for the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Mayank]

nicely done, good attempt at Villanelle...

[Frontier]

thanks, I think the repeated lines were too short so it made it sound "choppy"

[Zakari Schmidt]

Wonderful villanelle Frontier! I liked the line about ghost carousel, I used to ride one as a kid and they kinda intimidate me now when they're all run down and rusted like a haunted childhood or something haha. Like the carousel, the ideas you spin through your work always seem to give me chills. I enjoy reading something of yours every time :)

[Frontier]

I know exactly what you mean, I love visiting old arcades/fairs. Chills? Hmm maybe its time I lend you a "literary sweater" lol! :)

[Jeannette Lunete]

I'm simply a carrier of great fascination when it comes to your writings. Every line is outstanding. I simply enjoyed it. Especially this stanza:
Bloodshot entanglement will adhere,
Entertaining vicious echoes, thinking it aghast.
Their eyes were perfect spheres,
Drowned roses sleep, here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well done! :)

[Frontier]

haha thanks ! :)

[Jeannette Lunete]

You're welcome! You're always such an inspiration. :)