Questionings

Deafening you, only ice floating down a porcelain river,

 moving like silence. 

The sun's scarlet fingers tuck in these phantoms dancing in my irises.

 Sounds evaporate into the sky, arteries and veins intertwine around me.

There's something about you that I can only describe as  incense,

 or dents and vents in the night. 

You are a clown's fainting smile.

What are you immortalizing, fantasizing 

brilliant knots, fancy bows inside you, 

if they come undone then you'll be away;  

far, far away rising from  pools of screeching pillow crimes.

 I just need to not care about anything else.

 I heard whispers 

like the holiness of a gas station,

out in the middle of nowhere.

For instance, the red white and blue I love yous.

Stalling the time inside , I love being outside,

taking everything in stride,

 but I'm going to start walking.

 The mirror told me the world's on fire, then I poked my eyes out.

Reviews

[Kleio13]

"You are a clown's fainting smile." This poem made me want to cry when I read the last line.

Great work.

K.

[Frontier]

Thanks Kleio!! Glad it affected you!

[TheKratiMittal]

That is such an extremely emotional and fell-good read.
Sometimes,questions are all we need.
I love your write-ups.
Keep sharing.

[Frontier]

I'm glad to hear, Krati. I will. :)

[Crusty Pizza Stain]

Sometimes poking your eyes out is the only way...but it makes it tough going for walks..

[Frontier]

Haha, ahh I should've remembered that, too late...and I really liked walks...

[Horizon K.]

The mirror told me the world's on fire, then I poked my eyes out.

This poem is sublime... Questioning what is inside the one you love, and what truly exists between you. What do we hold onto, to know that what we are holding to, is truly love-- something more than incense. We need to know, that middle of nowhere gas station, only appears for Us, an oasis, not a mirage...

[Frontier]

Yes, you definitely got to the heart of it, Horizon. It can be scary to see what keeps you with another person. Thanks.

[paul sal.....]

The mirror, a reflection of a life longed for in the aforementioned lines; your words make me wish I was on the other side

[Frontier]

We can be....if we go through....

[Alessander]

I think the first stanza is very powerful, and unique. It almost overwhelms a reader with images and impressions, like a Khalo painting, or a surrealist painting.

I like a clown's fainting smile. That really stuck out. It jars one from the porcelain and phantoms. It's like a grotesque sublimity.

My only hang up, and it might be small, or big, but I really would encourage you to end it with

"The mirror told me the world's on fire".

I get the poked my eyes out...but if you really want that line, maybe

I poked my eyes out,
then them mirror murmured (to me) the world's on fire

Something along those lines. Just a suggestion, feel free to disregard.

Anyhow, I really liked this piece. Might be my fav from you thus far. I could go on and on, but I'll shut up now lol

[Frontier]

haha yes, clowns do have a distinct (maybe creepy) kind of smile, grotesque sublimity is on point.
I see what you mean...I guess I was trying to say the speaker didn't want to see after he had received a message (the mirror) that something was up. But I'll think about it.

[Frieda P]

Surreal and quirky...'I heard the whispers like the holiness of a gas station', had to think on that one for a minute, makes sense in the context...killer ending.

[Frontier]

With the "out in the middle of nowhere" it may make more sense. Thanks Frieda!

[A. Amos]

This is one of your best work...just loved it

[Frontier]

Wow really? I'm glad you think so! :)

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome my dear...

[Tai Ryens]

How macabre, I have to say it entices me so that you've managed to capture willful ignorance (for lack of a kinder word) in the most stellar and marvelous manner that I find myself enthralled by your portrayals. Truly a captivating read from word one with the whimsical presentation like it's a dream come true yet everything within your speaker seems to suggest otherwise, from the tightening of veins to the curiosity felt every night as their relationship became more immersive; so much so that your speaker engages in voluntary giving up of the senses despite the blatant knowledge that something is going on, forfeiting the senses so that what's going on cannot be experiences truly by your speaker and it would go to some vault where they will never draw memories from.

Fantastic read.

[Frontier]

This is one of the best reviews I've ever read :)

[Inda]

This is fantastic! That last line where you sort of decide to live in ignorance, blind to the injustice and problems of the world really shows how some people choose to live and frankly that is part of the problem. This is a clever write indeed!

[Frontier]

Thanks for stopping by, Inda :)