River

hate hate hate, fate.

Splurge, splish splash, splish splash.

The coffee is done brewing,

going into the same mugs

The wax has melted, 

sliding down the same candles,

It's raining, falling down the same window,

and I have the same mind, the one I can't find.

Maybe in the next world, you'll be mine.

I have too much space around me.

Who can fight this space? I can't even

fall into it, and I don't know where I'll fall,

if I do. 

Has light found all light? The light in

me is willing to fight, the fight in me is willing 

to be light. It travels at the speed of light,

where is my light?

 Night might win, 

Win me, night.

Is there something light avoids, 

 taking my next breath

I'll wonder if

I'm exhaling light or darkness.

I may be a rock

, they don't ever move,

 although 

they are eternal. 

I am a river,swift above,

stone internal.

You are a river, 

they don't stop, even when

the sun's shining. 

You are a river,

you take any creature

that comes to die.

Their only dying place,

flowing tomb

I don't want to merely die

I don't want to search for my killer. 

You give them a sudden but

sure death,

that seems like truth,

letting them finally die

in the mouth of all. 

You are a river

drifting down swiftly,

seeming so free

because you keep going.

You will keep going forever, 

even though you're still there. 

You don't care what comes, 

you'll just take what's done. 

I can't come to you,

I didn't just see you, 

I have known you, always.

Only mortals hope to

meet themselves in another self, 

but they have to be gods first.

Two gods looking at each other,

what happens?

How can a god meet a god?

A god doesn't have to meet anybody.

Hopeless, utterly hopeless,

to know this

 is to know

we are gods. 

You'll never end, river

you'll always be, river

show me how to die,

but rivers don't try

you can't ever live,

yet you are forever. 

Reviews

[Confuser]

I very much enjoyed your "free style" type of writing and the message. The metephor is wonderful. I love the way you played with the words - especially at the beginning. It was like your mind was clear and the words flowed. Thank you.

[Frontier]

Thank you Confuser, in no way did you confuse me! :P

[kublakhan27]

I always struggle to find the words to review your work, as it is so meticulous and deep and imaginative...I can only sum it up by saying that this was a no-brainer for my favourites list, as many of your works are...I related deeply to many of these stanzas, especially the opener, which I wish I could have written myself...great wordplay, the mix of rhyme and rhythm is seamless...for me, this is as good as poetry gets...you're without question one of the best on the site...well done my friend.

[Frontier]

I love your reviews. Reading this made me happy, thanks Kubla...

[Kleio13]

"I'm exhaling light or darkness.
I may be a rock, they don't ever move, although
they are eternal.

I am a river,swift above,
stone internal."

Lovely write and these lines remind me of myself when I started writing like this at age 13. I always subjected myself to earthy personifications

[Frontier]

hahaaha thanks! Would love to read some of your "13 year old" stuff :)

[Horizon K.]

River, and ever so appropriately named... For there is a flow in these verses-- mind river , heart river, life river ...
So this makes me think of living life this way -- of discovering what is next, how to react, who to love and when to die , just by letting go, following the flow without trying to direct yourself... I know someone, who lives and loves this way ... It is a free way to be, if you don't mind...

Such a lovely, ethereal poem! The second stanza, was my favorite ...

[Frontier]

Thank you! I enjoyed this review a lot! :)

[Anand Sehgal]

You are a river
drifting down swiftly,
seeming so free
because you keep going.
You will keep going forever,
even though you're still there.
You don't care what comes,
you'll just take what's done.

the above was my favorite part. :) very good write :)
*********************************************************************************************************************************************

[Frontier]

Thanks Im glad you liked :)

[Anand Sehgal]

indeed I did :) :) keep it up :)

[TheKratiMittal]

Flawless!
Its been days since, I have come across such perfect poetry :)
Keep sharing.

[Frontier]

Thank you so much, Kratti :)

[s y e]

This is perfectly executed, Frontier. I loved this and I totally agree with that Will said.

[Frontier]

Thanks, I appreciate it, Noodlehead.

[John Anderson]

What a wonderfully written and powerfully delivered poem.

[Frontier]

Im glad you enjoyed, John.

[willweb]

Like that flowing river your words run of great meaning. Concealing fate can not be done...rivers overflow there banks whether they want to or not...it is meant to be. I really enjoyed this fantastic poem today.

[Frontier]

Much appreciated, Willweb :)

[Tree]

First, I want to acknowledge the art here. This was a damn, fine write. That first stanza set the scene with a tone that excellerates slowly, methodically throughout, not only in rhythm, but complexity. I liked how the author establishes the use of contrast to frame the poem, too. Light. Dark. Stone, river. Death. Truth. God, you. Live. Forever.... I want to now back up for a minute to say how potent your metaphors were, when you wrote how the wax, was sliding down the candle, then the rain, sliding down the window, it gave, at least to this reader, a vivid image. That in deep reflection, we so easily become the beauty around us, we, become/ symbols. I couldn't get that out of my head. I could go on, as I have fallen into the many spaces you've created for the reader here, and might have to revisit this at a later time. It was that powerful. It was that good.

[Frontier]

Thoroughly loved this review, you brought to mind many things that I wasn't thinking consciously while writing. This part really stuck out to me "That in deep reflection, we so easily become the beauty around us, we, become/ symbols." - it made me think, and yes, beauty needs a beholder to become beautiful, whom in itself also possesses beauty.

What a thought-provoking review.
Thanks :)