My lonely sunset

I was the fertile plain
You were the stubborn fruit
Hanging from a bough
The space in between
Was a glittering lullaby
The sun's soft embrace

And when you fell
The water broke,
A rotten promise
Was born
The infallible
offspring of Eden
Becoming my loathsome moon

Soaked by cloaked spirits
Why didn't you stay up there?
so I wouldn't have to
Arm myself with reason
Out of tune with the season

Why didn't you stay up there?
So that I wouldn't care,
or dare,
To make myself think
I don't love you?
You, my lonely sunset

Reviews

[Thaddius]

Born into consciousness. Knowledge hits us on the head, makes us doubt we were anything before, will be anything except our tortured, lonely little vessels. A cruel trick this life plays on us, the 'rotten promise' of its own supreme importance. Wishing to die, or to never be born is sacrilege, illness, in the context of this life. But outside of it, it's simply the pull back to doubtlessness, to 'the space in-between'.

[Frontier]

Wow what a review! You grasped the meaning perfectly, and even went beyond. Thanks so much :)

[Thaddius]

Of course. Smart and talented woman, you are

[~]

"To make myself think
I don't love you?
You, my lonely sunset"

Those last lines are perfection, that lingering thought of do I or don't I, can fog an entire view of love. Even as we fall we still question our hearts. Amazing poem.

[Frontier]

Thanks Mesperyian :)

[Rossen]

Inescapable heavenly bodies.. glowing reminders of the pieces from broken bonds still amiss...

Tender words new friend. 100/100

Rossen

[Frontier]

Thanks so much new friend! :)

[CatT]

I love this one so much. My favorite that I have read of yours, for sure.

"The infallible
offspring of Eden
Becoming my loathsome moon"

That's my favorite part. It's awesome. Excellent write!

[Frontier]

:)! Thank you, thank you!

[paul sal.....]

manjia.............................

[Frontier]

...............???

[paul sal.....]

it is an italian phrase meaning............

[Frontier]

hehe........bon appetit

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it was a lullaby but not with a good ending...i wanted you to stay hanging from the bough...i didn't want to become vulnerable...
but you fell, just like adam and even in the garden...and reality set in...

love the personification...here, so well used.

[Frontier]

Thank you Jacob :)