A Tear For A Wish

lets play this out of order- part two of- the Man That Was, part one to follow

I open the last kitchen cabinet looking for whatever we can find. There is one box of Cheerios and a package of Ramen Noodles, Billy and I want neither.  A beautifully golden grilled cheese would be spectacular as my stomach rolls like last night’s earthquake. 

 

 I reach into my pocket knowing good and well I have no money; and yet I pull out a penny. With the very click of the clock I am filled with anger and wild tears stream down my face. I slow melt into the floor. Billy is in his walker watching me. I’m eleven not a mother! I want to be cared for, loved, taken to the zoo for Pete’s-sake! I stare down at my penny that is cupped in my hand and like a wishing well my tears make a pool.  

 

In that very moment I remember the wishing well at the zoo, the one Momma took us to, before she got sick, before she left us and before he turned.

 

“Lord, up in Heaven can you carry my wish, tears is all I have, I wish for my dad to come back home to us, to need us like we need him. Make him a new dad my once again sober dad.” I  fan my fingers as my tears drain away. 

Carefully I place the penny on the kitchen table to dry and stare at it for the longest moment.

 

I know we’re not poor but we might as well be. Cause a drinker has no mind for details only for his drink.

 

I gaze at the yellow pages and rip out the first page; pick my indigo blue Crayola to write my daddy a note. Once again I will pretend the letter is from my mom.

DEaR BiLL

 

THe KIdS MiSS AnD NEEd YA. I WaNT Ya TO LOOK aT THIS PENNY aND KNOW OUR GIrL WAnTS YOU TO HAvE IT aND KEEp IT FOR ALwAYS. ShE SAYS IT HOLDS A WiSH, A WiSH FOr YOU TO COmE HOME AnND B A GOOD DAD, A COOKIES AND ZOO DAD. A HamBURGER HElpeR DaD. SHE SEALED THIS PENNY IN A WISH AND IF YoU SPoIL ThIS WIsH, MY ALL OF HElL FOLLoW YOU IN AnD OuT OF THE BoTTlE.

 

 YOUR WIFE ELLEN

 

Then I see the AA ad and for good measure I circled it and placed our phone on it, Billy & I  eat some grapes and go to bed.

 

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

A touching story, Cherrie, and one I'm a bit too familiar with. Alcoholism is such horrible, devastating condition that causes untold damage.

[An owl on the moon]

You bring us such moving glimpses... lives on the edge and longing for more... for hope to be found... and relief. Powerful.

[Gomer LePoet]

You have the beginnings of an excellent story, although I'm not sure if this is the beginning based on your note. I look forward to see how you piece this together.