Shadows Fall

Ghazal 5 couplets. The first ending in the same phrase. And the second line there after repeats it.

Under the oak so old, shadows form

on the darkened lea, shadows form.

 

 The babbling brook smoothly sings.

Sloping sun, lets the shadows form.

 

The book now closed, the day is gone.

And with sleepy mind shadows form.

 

Beneath twinkling stars, a light bows low.

And from that light, these shadows form.

---Cherrie---

 

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

well done .. great closing line says i! no shadows where it not for the light .. love it. .. i have missed being here at the Café' .. so glad to stop and read your stuff.
E.

[Cherrie]

Well hello stranger it's great to hear from you and glad to have you back.

[Einstein Noodle]

nice to be back .. as intermittent as i have been .. enjoyed the read :)

[E.P. Robles]

I find this poem to be a contemplative and evocative exploration of the interplay between light and shadow, nature's elements, and the passage of time.

Your imagery and language used creates a sense of beauty and tranquility while inviting the reader to reflect on deeper meanings.

The opening lines set the stage under an old oak tree, where shadows begin to take shape.

The repetition of "shadows form" emphasizes the gradual emergence of these elusive and transient entities.

This imagery suggests a metaphorical representation of the complexities and uncertainties of life, where shadows symbolize the hidden aspects and uncertainties that surround us.

The babbling brook, described as singing smoothly, introduces a sense of serenity and natural harmony. The flowing water becomes a metaphorical thread connecting the various elements of the poem. The "sloping sun" suggests the sun's descent, casting longer shadows and contributing to the ambiance of transition and change.

The line "The book now closed, the day is gone" signals the end of a chapter or phase. It implies a sense of closure and reflection as the day comes to a close. The "sleepy mind" evokes a state of introspection, perhaps suggesting a quiet contemplation of the shadows that have formed throughout the day.

The image of twinkling stars and a bowing light adds a touch of celestial beauty to the poem. The light's gesture of bowing low creates a sense of reverence and humility. From this light, the shadows form, suggesting that even in the presence of illumination, shadows persist, symbolizing the coexistence of light and darkness, knowledge and mystery.

Overall, this poem captures the essence of fleeting moments and the cyclical nature of life. It invites the reader to appreciate the nuances of light and shadow, the passage of time, and the profound beauty found in nature's elements. The poem's brevity and economy of language create a sense of simplicity and clarity, allowing the reader to immerse themselves in the tranquil atmosphere it evokes. It brought tears to my eyes in its simplicity but deep complexity. A lullaby.

[Cherrie]

Your review is beautiful and very generous, thank you 😊

[Andrew2401]

Interesting form, and your words create a nicely mystical atmosphere that allowed my thoughts to wander into those shadows.

Andrew2401

[red93]

Lovely use of repetition Cherrie, so clever how you say so much in a few words. Excellent ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[Aura]

This is quite an interesting form Cherrie, I definitely like the repetition of the phrase "Shadows form" it definitely puts emphasis on it! Thanks for sharing Cherrie, it's definitely an interesting piece!

[Ken Simm.]

So light yet profound. So gossamer and visual. This is the type of poem I adore.

[Cherrie]

Thank you Ken. I always enjoy writing these. ✍️ and I'm so pleased you enjoyed it.

[Lisasview]

Hi Cherrie,
Went back to this poem of yours...which I did so enjoy last week...to reread how it was composed..
Lisa, visiting Valencia Zoo

[Betty Hermelee]

I love shadows and how they seem to dance and follow you wherever you go....your repetition of the word shadow in different settings as you portray it is stunning....as the sun moves, so do the shadows, as the moon moves, so do the shadows....it's really quite a wonder of nature... love it! very imaginative...
Best, B

[Cherrie]

I saw a artist collection of the same tree in a park. She painted it at different seasons and times of day. It was amazing how different each one felt. I think of that when I write how pace and mood can transform the moment into something altogether new.

[Betty Hermelee]

Yes a tree would definitely change its shadows (moods) at different times of the day....something new at moments....
Best, B

[Lisasview]

Well, first of all I love structure and I have never heard of this one until now... I just love it.
This one has no particular syllable count...
And, the subject matter is so interesting...
Your poem moved so smoothly...

Lisa

[Cherrie]

Each couplet should be the same length (mostly for symmetry). Last part can be a phrase or a single word.

[Lisasview]

Thank you, I might try this...
Lisa

[Cherrie]

Traditionally it is a song 🎵. But mine never turn out that way. I can't wait to see yours.

[Lisasview]

Oh a song... I love it...
I wish there were more hours in the day.
I only really want to paint and do poetry but that is just not possible.
I am definelty going to try yours...
Is it sort of like the structure of a Ballad?
Lisa

[Cherrie]

It's done in couplets. At least 5. The first most end in the same word or phrase.
Each couplet should appear the same length.
And the following couplets will change the first line. While the 2nd ends with the set ending of the first couplet.
At the end goes your name.
Wa-la

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Cherrie … firstly… I love your Arabic form and soft verses… that gives us a calmness to face each day with renewed Courage. gently, Pat