Falling Petals

Co written with William Michael Reeves Somonka= 2 tanks; 10 lines . Written by 2 poets

With tears petals fell.
Their wafting bouquet unveiled.
A crumbling mask slipped.
Yes, the mask my very own.
As my tears cradle my fall.


You the flower land.
On a bed of healing tears.
Your broken mask lost.
Sees a waning mystery.
Inflorescent seeds grow tall.

Reviews

[Relic]

This seems like a healing poem. Tears, like moisture to the soil, allow the seeds to grow. The mask covered up growth of the person and now, through pain, healing and growing can begin once again. I should be saying this better, but I think you get my interpretation.

Good one by both of you.

[William Michael Reeves]

No, you said that well. When she sent hers that's just what I was picking up on. And I think spring has got in our heads. Everybody's gardening words these days. Thanks

[Cherrie Palmer]

Originally I pictured someone removing the flowers petals one at a time ( with the old saying he loves me- he loves me not).
Then Bill mixed in the his own image and the poem came into its own .
That is what I like about writing a poem with someone else. It's like looking through a lens you are bringing into focus.

[William Michael Reeves]

That's an interesting thought. After an improvisational collaboration discussing what the other thought the other was going to write. And the surprise is the fun!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

The imagery is divine! I love that first line with tears petals fell! Well penned!

[Cherrie Palmer]

Thank you Kathy
I really enjoyed writing this one with Bill. Our two poems told a story. I think you would enjoy writing this style.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

I believe I would! Glad I picked it to read!

[Chris Shaw]

A visual and touching write. Brevity at its best Well done, to the pair of you with this collaboration. Nicely expressed.

Chris

[Cherrie Palmer]

:) Thank you. To me these forms of poetry make for a easy payoff.

[William Michael Reeves]

Thanks Chris. Folding those big ideas into little packages is even more fun when somebody like Cherrie gets some of the corners.

[William Michael Reeves]

This was another one of your good ideas that was easy to reflect. Japanese forms lend themselves to collaboration and since the rules are just a syllable count it can be lots of fun.

I thought for sure you would grow a new mask.

Get your edit on...I've never written a tank before. But I'm willing to try. I'll have to consult with some Ukranians about the nuts and bolts of it.

[Cherrie Palmer]

Yes I enjoy the simplicity of them and the need to choose your words for maximum effect.

[William Michael Reeves]

I can't find that ballad you wrote. I'm starting on a ballade for the 'Grave Tree' thing and was studying it, and mine, and Wikipedia and Richard. You described the form and it was unusual or something. A certain type. I might go classic but I need to be fully versed or my 'teacher' will write my head off!

[Writergurl]

Such amazing imagery, enjoyed this

[William Michael Reeves]

Thanks. Cherrie does have a way with imagery.

[M. J. Smith]

Bittersweet. When the mask crumbles vulnerabilities are revealed. But there is also a fresh start. Once out of the shell new growth becomes possible. Nice fine, guys.

[William Michael Reeves]

Thanks Michael. When she threw the Tanka at me the mask, and the mystery let imagination fly.

[Cherrie Palmer]

Thank you MJ
We were both pleased with the outcome.

[red93]

Excellent imaging Cherrie and good to see you in the Tanka mode, definitely one of my favourites, and showing that the regular forms still have much to recommend them.

[Cherrie Palmer]

We, Thank you 😊