Shadows of Night

Shadows in flight
cling to the trees.
These oncoming shapes
are shrouded in the breeze.


The height of each pine
is confined from view.
As a plume like mist
curdles my mood.

Casting the land
in an bygone trance.
time stands still
fearing what's next.


Silent wings
take to flight
and the growl
of his 'call'


-Tells me-

he's now perched
just out of sight.


Frozen feet long to run
as an inward voice
tells me to be one.
One with boulder
feathered in mist.

One with my surrounding
and I do that right quick.

Then pray for sunshine
and hold my breath.

Reviews

[Unspoken poet]

Wow, this is so good, intrigued, could be a owl like Chris said.
Amazing write

[Cherrie Palmer]

Thank you the review. :) I am so sorry for the late reply.

[Chris Shaw]

There is an air of mystery here in the shadows of the pines and I am left wondering what bird is perched there attracting attention. Maybe it is an owl, I am so fond if them even though I find them eerie. You have set a mood here Cherrie with this piece and I like what I have read.

Chris

[Cherrie Palmer]

I missed your review also.
Thank you Chris
Was having a bit of spooky fun.

[William Michael Reeves]

I am going to describe this poem as easy. Easy to read. Felt good with rhyme. The structure added to the story as it unfolded and the mystery of what was about to happen left me wanting more. As usual when I read your poems lately. You write mystery poetry and it's refreshing in its ease. Using the mist as camouflage won't help if the unknown can smell your fear mixed with the sharp pine in the air carried on the shape of a breeze. What are you doing out in the woods in the first place!!??

[Cherrie Palmer]

I live in the woods and love writing about the fog.
I haven't had any free time lately to write any fiction so I guess it is creeping into my poetry

[JE Falcon]

"The height of each pine
is confined from view.
As a plume like mist
curdles my mood." --- Love this !!!
I like how the words play with the idea of rhyme, but they don't.

[Cherrie Palmer]

Actually you sparked this poem. The notion started with something I saw and was going to write about a owl and the fog covered trees.
Then bam! I read your 🐉 poem and it took a shift.

[JE Falcon]

Ah, inspiration, it's likely to come from the oddest places. :)

[W. Barrett Munn]

I like the "mood" of your poem. Playing around with some words I get something like this as an initial stanza: Shadows in flight/flick through the trees/shape-shifting beasts/chased by the breeze. :-)

[Cherrie Palmer]

Now that I like matches the mood

[W. Barrett Munn]

PS: another alliteration you might have used for moving shadows is “shadows in flight flit through the trees.”

To my thinking that would be more consistent with the action of fleeing.

[Cherrie Palmer]

I do like the sound of that. Very nice.

[W. Barrett Munn]

I see you live on White River. I've fished for trout near Eureka Springs, in fact, my brother and I used to make an annual trek but that was pre-pandemic.

I, too, am published, so congrats on that as I understand how difficult that is to accomplish.

[Cherrie Palmer]

We love the White River and live a mile from Bull Shoals Lake.
We're on the NE tip of the lake and love it.
And thank you 😊 lately I've lost interest in submitting. No time to mess with it. But try to write every day.

[Cherrie Palmer]

My Husband and I are from Tulsa lived there 20 years

[W. Barrett Munn]

I don’t know what kind of feedback you want but myself I like constructive criticism that helps me improve, so that is what I try to pass along. Think about this: if shadows are fleeing, would they cling or instead maybe they leap through limbs ?

[Cherrie Palmer]

I always enjoy the insights of another writer. :)
On how they perceive my poem and its flow.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Using rhyme so it doesn’t seem forced is difficult but for the most part you handled it well. But there are other ways to make words musical and rhythmic without relying on end rhyme. That all said, I liked your poem. I read some others of yours and I would say in general poetry is not the description of a thing or event but the feelings and atmosphere that surrounds such things and events. In other words, you can describe the old door in the barn without naming it as “door”. Naming it is what newscasters do.

PS: whose is the the possessive form and in another poem you left it as who’s, which I think was an oversight.

[Cherrie Palmer]

I so appreciate your review and insights.
I do try and mix up my topics. Airing out emotions and feelings. But I have always been found of poets who write about nature building a scene with their words.
I'm no Frost or Keats, but I do enjoy a fine poem about nature, and stab at it from time to time.
I so agree when weaving a tale we should show, don't tell.
Great review thank you.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was a great read. Gargoyles in the trees perhaps? We have great horned owls but I never see them. Only hear their hoots from October to early February. They are so secretive. We have red-tailed hawks too. They are much bolder and I see them every few days. The owls will actually kill the hawks (especially young ones) if they catch them out at dusk. One year grackles came to roost and threw a block party in the nearby woods. I like to go for walks there. The grackles are very noisy but this day they were in a riot. As I walked by the edge of the woods a hawk flew out clutching a dead grackle in his talons. Four or five grackles were in pursuit but the hawk dropped low and then soared with his/her prey to a distant tree. The grackles have never returned. I'm actually grateful since they were so vehement in their cacophony. Well, whatever is waiting in your woods, I'm certain it's of no threat to humans if it's flying, unless it's a manmade drone.

[Cherrie Palmer]

We have a great horned owls. I just love them . I'm a who'er always trying to drawl them nearer. I like it when they are close enough to hear the growl that follows their call . You can only hear it if their nearby. Sometimes I can hear them snapping their beaks looking for the other owl.

[Cherrie Palmer]

Ya know I've never written a gargoyle story. I may need to flesh that out.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

The growl of an owl. There's bound to be a rhyming poem in that. ;) Their vocalizations are so myriad. They can even bark sometimes. I thought this was about owls but couldn't imagine why the author would be frightened of them. I'd love to get close enough to observe ours. Fun to read. I enjoyed.

[Cherrie Palmer]

It started out as a nature/ owl story then I gave it a rewrite for more of campfire mystery.

[Miss Sharon]

Very beautiful and expertly crafted! ~Sharon