Betwixt

the sun shines brightly

as the moon stalls in the sky

betwixt them apath

Reviews

[M. J. Smith]

Betwixt the two a path...
A slight break in form. But in spirit, a true haiku. Well written.

[Cherrie]

I switched it back to my 2nd choice. I'm not sure I like it better.

[M. J. Smith]

The line fits better formwise... Try this:
Between the Earth sleeps.
I don't know if it helps. But feel free to use it. Haiku is kind of a thing with me. Well, see you soon.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

What a strange word "betwixt" is. I often only hear it when someone uses the phrase "betwixt and between" which is also strange since it is an obvious redundancy. I'm reminded of a joke Robin Williams told. He said, if you look up redundant in the dictionary it says, "see redundant". Also I'm reminded of a song from the seventies, "Stuck in the middle with you." (smile) Love this haiku. Thanks for sharing. F.

[Cherrie]

Thank you :) I had fun creating this image.

[Cherrie]

I loved your input it's like the sprinkles on a cake.

[Writergurl (Mama's Girl..]

what a lovely little write, I enjoyed this

[Cherrie]

Thank you so much:)

[Fran Marie]

A lovely piece
the sun and moon
together ..much love
and light betwixt the two
shining brightly..nice

[Cherrie]

Thank you Fran for the kind words of encouragement.

[William Michael Reeves]

A path of light rays
Tripping lunar atmospheres
Binary links join

[Cherrie]

I do enjoy seeing the moon in the sky with the sun. It always inspires me.

[Cherrie]

I live your response to it very poetic indeed.

[William Michael Reeves]

Your piece had me thinking about a story by Isaac Asimov. The planet had 7 suns. Never setting but every 2000 years. Bet there were a bunch of moons too

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

This is excellent. to me it is a metaphor that says when you love some one your hearts are never alone when you are apart

[Cherrie]

:) thank you
I edited this one tell me if you like it better.