Fractured

addiction

I remember thinking, this is not my son,

but who?

This broken shell,

no longer able to give me eye contact.

Guilt I note,

but that is another story I yet know of. 

Instability simmers, a slow wake trimmers, his emotions.

A hinged jaw straps down the pending explosion,

but for how long.

He hides in his room to eat,

or waits till everyone is asleep to gorge himself clandestinely.

To many nights on the streets.

Too many hits of the pipe,

and now body and mind are broken,

soul and spirit stripped and splintered.

Thirty-five, is to old, to run away,

to old not to know the better path when a choice is given,

 but it is just old enough to rush into the gates of Hell,

with only remorse as a companion.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

WOW! One of the most powerful things I've read about addiction. I was immediately drawn in by your brilliant opening . . . you captured that one mind-blowing thing most of us have seen, where a person is so "not himself" that it's stunning to look, search, try to find some shred of the original person. Your tone of disbelief continues & gives incredible intensity to your words (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Cherrie Palmer]

It is such a raw thing, hard to gloss-over such circumstances without a hard edge. It is a merry-go-round of hope and disbelief. Where a dollar ticket might last a lifetime.

[Cherrie Palmer]

I couldn't decide on a picture for this till just now.

[barleygirl]

Great pic, with the light & dark contrasts & the blur . . . says so much!

[Crowley]

Ouch...It's crazy how one life can get so off kilter while others manage to skirt by. Being caught in that trap is so sad for the child and the parent, and like Jacob said, I think there is a point where someone does see the trap, and we can only hope that it isn't too late.

[Cherrie Palmer]

He's fought for a long time. With each loss it gets harder. We can only hope, and remind him he is loved.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, Thirty-five is definitely too old to run away....but often we find ourselves so late in life...
Remorse likes to hitch a ride with us...but sooner or later there will be a rest stop, and may be we could drop it off there.
I had many years of rocking out of tune....took me until later in life to get on key.
He will come around.
sometimes we have to hit bottom before we start rising back to the surface.
j.

[Cherrie Palmer]

that's great to hear :)

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Cherrie... my own Son touched on this scenario and he did overcome... but now and then I see and feel a bit of melancholy... when Ill winds come along and render reckless decisions. tenderly, Pat

[Cherrie Palmer]

We keep hoping, but each time there seems to be a bigger piece missing. We are now raising his son, and if that wont reach him I don't know what will.

[Cherrie Palmer]

so, time and prayer is my weapon of choice.