Fractured

addiction

I remember thinking, this is not my son,

but who?

This broken shell,

no longer able to give me eye contact.

Guilt I note,

but that is another story I yet know of. 

Instability simmers, a slow wake trimmers, his emotions.

A hinged jaw straps down the pending explosion,

but for how long.

He hides in his room to eat,

or waits till everyone is asleep to gorge himself clandestinely.

To many nights on the streets.

Too many hits of the pipe,

and now body and mind are broken,

soul and spirit stripped and splintered.

Thirty-five, is to old, to run away,

to old not to know the better path when a choice is given,

 but it is just old enough to rush into the gates of Hell,

with only remorse as a companion.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

WOW! One of the most powerful things I've read about addiction. I was immediately drawn in by your brilliant opening . . . you captured that one mind-blowing thing most of us have seen, where a person is so "not himself" that it's stunning to look, search, try to find some shred of the original person. Your tone of disbelief continues & gives incredible intensity to your words (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Cherrie]

It is such a raw thing, hard to gloss-over such circumstances without a hard edge. It is a merry-go-round of hope and disbelief. Where a dollar ticket might last a lifetime.

[Cherrie]

I couldn't decide on a picture for this till just now.

[barleygirl]

Great pic, with the light & dark contrasts & the blur . . . says so much!

[William Michael Reeves]

This poem struck home. I was one of those sons. Lucky I managed to grow up. Long before I was 35 or I'd be dead. What a deeply personal poem. I imagine this was one of those writes that just had to happen. Healing and healed I hope.

[Cherrie]

O guess I have several of those. I never set down to pen such things. They just spill upon the page.

[emmajoy]

Cherrie, dear friend... what to say to what is such a tragic yet courageous group of words. Each and every letter set down must be yet another pain. Your sadness and desperation is so obvious. Am here if you need a shoulder. Thoughts gentle, prayers whispered. Keep safe in every way, please.

[Cherrie]

Thank you Emma, we try to walk in faith and take the storms one episode at a time. We practice tough love and give support when we can.

[Cherrie]

PS I appreciate you and your tender heart.

[Relic]

I've watched many friends die a slow death just doing cocaine. They become withdrawn in some way until it's time to go back out to get more. It's a tragedy too many have succumbed to.

This is a very powerful poem, Cherrie.

[Cherrie]

Thank you Relic

[Paul Bell]

Yes, thirty-five is too old to run away, but addiction dictates time, and addiction is a powerful animal.
To watch someone you love go down this road into oblivion is the toughest journey ever.
Some will get over it and go on to help others, some will find the release from their pain and those are the ones we mourn.

[Cherrie]

so very true

[Coyote Poetry]

I lost four brothers to alcohol and drugs. I watched the drugs and alcohol steal their soul.
"Thirty-five, is to old, to run away,
to old not to know the better path when a choice is given,
but it is just old enough to rush into the gates of Hell,
with only remorse as a companion."
I try to help my brothers. Thank you dear Cherrie for sharing the powerful words and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Robert Trakofler]

wow that hit home with me on many levels I have lost so many to drugs over the years Cherrie it is so painful to watch and even more so because we are powerless to end it:( the pain is only the worse when it is to someone dear to our hearts just typing that line flashes faces of the loss lost

[Cherrie]

Yes, firsthand knowledge of these things are filled with sorrow.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

You boldly expressed the harsh reality of what doing drugs does to people. excellant work.

[Cherrie]

thank you, it is a terrible trap. That so many fall in.

[duff]

Your writing has a truthful brutality to it and I mean that with great respect. Sometimes we cant skirt the subject and I admire the bravery to write those lines down. Great work.

[Cherrie]

thank you Duff,

[Just Kim]

I don't know but you're never to old to runaway, I restarted my life when I did, I liked this write a lot, so nicely written.

[Cherrie]

Hello Kim
:) thank you for swinging by for a visit.