Sleepy Whistle

Sleepy whistle drifts away.

Now hear the clickity clack of the swaying train.

Meandering smoke trails behind,

 

as black on black outlines the night.

 

My bobbing head gives way to rest.

 

an icy pillow chills my head,

 

leaning on the window seat,

 

and the clickity clack consumes my dreams.

A baby’s cry redirects my sight, but weighted lids

 

reclaim the night.

Whispering lovers sweeten my rest

 

As the clickity clack of the rails do the rest.

Wheww! Wheww!

 

Author's Note

yes or no to the hidden words?

Reviews

[AJNJ]

The train chugs along, lulling one to sleep... This poem stands out for me as I loved traveling on trains as a kid and the plethora of things happening on board. I'd never tire of taking everything in and yes I slept like a log! Loved the clickity clack. Thank you for bringing back such sweet memories, Ms. Cherrie!

[Cherrie]

I missed your wonderful review and I'm sorry. Thank you so much for the review.

[Ken Simm.]

One of the best train songs I've ever heard. And that includes the Clarksville and the City of New Orleans one.Well done.

[Cherrie]

Thank you, Ken:)

[William Michael Reeves]

I don't know. I think the 'WHEW WHEW' would have been cool added in on a couple spots in text. This poem brought back a lot of memories of train rides. I could feel the rhythm of the clickity clack as I read this.

[Cherrie]

Hello William:) I'm so glad you liked this one.
Originally I had a few more ghosted words mixed in. But I took them all out but the last.

[William Michael Reeves]

I'm thinking that would have been better. Ghost lines accompanying each line? Hmmm. Now I want to see it with all that.

(My name is Bill Cherrie)

[Cherrie]

Then, Bill it is:)

[Poetic Beauty]

The idea of riding on n a train drifting into sleep with the crying baby fading as the sound of lovers

[Cherrie]

I liked the layering of life that is always around us. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Poetic Beauty]

You are welcome.

[Suzanne Sonderleigh]

Through the Appalachian Mountains…I would love to capture your moments on a train ride. To me, the faint words indicate the train passed a lone station, faintly lit by one light, and it’s the sound those people hear as they watch it travel further down the tracks. I feel like I’m on the train and those people standing outside the lone station are playing a part in my life story. Do you know the word “sonder?” If not, look it up. It’s a fascinating concept. A nice, warm read.

[Cherrie]

I too thought of the whistle at the end as a fading signature of the passing train. I hope you get to find a moment like this one, and where better to take such a trip maybe near the Dragon's Tail in NC in the Appalachian Mountains.
Yes, I love the sonder, it gives such a laid back and easy going feel to an image.

[Suzanne Sonderleigh]

I loved the “Sonder” feel so much, I made it part of my nom de plume.

[Cherrie]

... and an excellent pen name it is:)

[Kent Rawski]

Yes to the hidden words but have some whispery smoke coming after them. Your title really summed up your poem and some it was a beautiful ride. Oh I also love a chill pillow

[Cherrie]

I liked the whistle sound typed in a pale grey. I tried this once before 'Hidden' another poem with shadowed words. I kinda like the notion and will play with the idea again.

[Einstein Noodle]

it is a lullaby hard to resist .. the rocking to and fro and distant loon calls of the whistle ..(very loud if close at hand) ;)) .. I read Richards poem dedicated to you Cherrie! ;) of course had to come and read yours from which he took inspiration ... like i said to him .. i am inspired to take a week long train ride ... just for fun .. out and back .. now i am doubly inspired .. may even look into it today ;) best of the day to ya!
E.

[Cherrie]

Yes, there is something magical about a train, whether or not you are on board or watching it pass. Matt and I have taken a scenic day trip a few times, I am a fan of train travel. :) I checked into a week long ride once and the price was frightening. lol

[Einstein Noodle]

now i really do have to check it out ... i suppose now that i think on it ..its like a week of restaurants and hotel rooms isn't it?! :)

[Cherrie]

yes, that is the only way to think of it, but what a great canvas to write from.

[Cherrie]

I have to agree with you Richard's poem calls for a ticket.

[Einstein Noodle]

i am so glad we met ... right here at the Cafe' ... ;)

[Cherrie]

I am too, :)

[barleygirl]

About final words in gray . . . I could not imagine it "quiet" (which gray implies) . . . train whistles seem to be blasting loud, so the subtle treatment might be a little incongruous for me! Your poem made me long for train-travel to be viable always. Nobody should miss the experience of taking a long train ride, which you've brought to life for all the senses. It's hard to imagine that train travel (as we knew it) will someday be obsolete like stagecoaches! Your poem puts us into a reverie! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Cherrie]

I left that line grey, kinda like the passing of the train and or poem with all its sounds and images. The parting treat of the passing train was the whistle.

[Levi Levin]

A relaxing and romantic write. Great work!

[Cherrie]

Thank you:) I really enjoyed writing this one.

[light and ashes]

Laying here reading because I woke up earlier than I wanted to. This is a perfect read for me.
I absolutely love it.

[Cherrie]

:) thank you I'm thrilled you l enjoyed this early morning find.

[light and ashes]

You are welcome!

[Tate Morgan]

You have touched on one of my favorite memories. I rode a train to southern ohio as a child. I the clickity clack was the greatest sound ever. Love ya

[Cherrie]

Yes, I love the sound and feel of a train, I am so glad to stir such a wonderful memory.