You and Me

looking back is never easy

It’s too late to count your tears I noticed them but did not see.

You’ve poured my promises onto the floor

And stepped across them as you closed the door.

Now my tears pursue your steps

But to my dismay you do not look back.

I watch you now smile and sing

And wish to Heaven

There was still a you and Me.

Author's Note

everyone needs a tear in their beer poem :)

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Honest and strong words shared dear Cherrie.
"You’ve poured my promises onto the floor"
I understand the above lines. Chance meeting make us re-learn pain gain and lost. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Einstein Noodle]

have to be honest ma chère ;) could be I am just not awake enough for this tragedy of loss and love longing after it ... L3 do you mean to use "as" not "and"? ..i like the form of the triangle .. it grabs me ... says "pay attention!" ... i think the personification in tears following is provocative and powerful ... it seems to pull the sadness to me ... when I was a very young teenager the one and only young lady I "went steady" with gave my little friendship ring back to ma at one of the neighborhood St. John the Baptist Church dances ... not in person mind you ... but through her ex boyfriend ;) i remember it so vividly as he approached me and handed me that ring and said .."Don't feel too bad about it...she did the same thing to me." ... my friends talked me into the go steady thing and it was a 2 week flame ... i had a lot of fun being with her before the steady thing and we were not experiencing a heart thing ..so i was not affected by the "breakup" and no tears nor sadness shed ... i lucked out that time ... oh ... but later there are different stories ;) i had a hard time finding the rhythm to the lines ..especially L1 ...not clear to me your intent other than read it all the way across ... but i keep wanting a break of some kind between "tears" and "I" .... its a soulful tale ...i want more colors, textures and metaphors tho.... i do agree 100% about tears in me beers ...i think i will allow me self a few today ... cheers Cherrie!
E.

[Cherrie]

I agree this needs a tweak or two to smooth out the flow. I missed a you in L3 which I added back in (thanks to your keen I):)
I will definitely give this some attention and the next beer is on me.

[Einstein Noodle]

ok!! i will raise up me mug in a thank you toast ;)) today!! now i have a good excuse ;)

[Lyn Anderson]

The tears dry and leave you wondering why you did cry in the first place -

[Patricia Wedel]

Reminds me of Hank Williams, Sr. Song... “I’m Walking the Floor over you... I can’t sleep a wink it is true”. Guess I’m just a Country Pumpkin when it comes to the “The Blues”.
Your poem has me cryin and sigh’n ... As ever, Pat

[Cherrie]

Well ya little pumpkin, I guess I'm one two.
;) thank you Pat and let's have one more round and play G7.

[Louis McKraker]

Beautifully written, Cherrie. I especially loved how the last few lines made me think that your emotions would have loved to get even, on display, with your other. But it sounded like your other was too indifferent to even be effected by an attack like that.
It was short, but said so much from the first to the second read.
Thank you for that.

[Cherrie]

I find that I write like I shop. I get in then out.

Thank you Louis , this is about a break up from years ago. Technology I was the one who left.
So, like most writers I choose the POV I wanted the image to read from.

[Louis McKraker]

That's an awesome way to do it.
I must try it some time.
I typically just write from the mindscape, but this sounds like I need to try it, too.

[Cherrie]

It works really well and completely alters the poem.

[Tate Morgan]

It is sad to think we once took someone for granted to the point that their feelings were no longer intact.

[Cherrie]

Thank you Tate, and
Yes, I think far too many people end up this way.

[Tate Morgan]

Agreed It is often that we only realize too late

[trying_to_write]

This is so beautiful, from the words you use to the way it flows.

[Cherrie]

Thank you so much:)
I look forward to hearing from you more and reading more of your work.

[barleygirl]

This is so similar to my interaction with my sister recently. She can't understand why I have no regard for her after she's kicked me in the guts for years. I love your second line which is a relatable way to describe being disregarded! Love your matter-of-fact approach here, beyond the hurt, just facing what's right in front of two broken people! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Cherrie]

Thank you Margie, I wanted to play the end out clear and plain.

[Lanny]

Oh, the pangs of lost love and relationships, so stirringly stated! You really do have a wonderful way of phrasing thoughts to make them live and resonate: "My tears pursue your steps", "You've poured my promises onto the floor", "your tears I noticed them but did not see". An enjoyable little piece.

Nicely done, and all the best,

Lanny

[Cherrie]

Thank you, Lanny.

[andrew mitchell]

Very sad but beautifully said, funny how beauty in words can come from such sadness. Yes the entanglement of loose ends now severed leaves us in knots!

[Cherrie]

Thank you, Andrew.
I do like to air out a bit of sorrow from time to time. I agree sadness does carry the poets melody nicely.