Poor ToddA Story by Cherikooka Sometimes you need to rely on fate.
He sat in his 5 x 5 cubicle, staring at a picture of his girlfriend. Beautiful smile, long blonde hair, perfect teeth. Who could have known that 2 years later she would be a roley poley, evil chub monkey with teeth perpetually covered in a cheetos glaze? Well, at least she still had her long blonde hair. Todd loved long hair; he just wished she washed it more often. He tried to figure out when she morphed into this woman he no long recognized. It didn’t really matter. She became something Todd no longer wanted.
Todd started daydreaming about ways to get rid of Mindy. He tried breaking up, but she just didn’t get it. He didn’t know how much clearer he could be. What part of “I don’t want to date you anymore.” did she not get? She would reply with, “But my parents won’t let me move in with you, so we should just keep on dating.” Or “So, does that mean you’re ready to get married?” He just wanted her to go away, and no matter what he said to her, she just didn’t get it. She would show up at his apartment with alcohol and take out, of which she would scarf down in minutes, pass out on the couch and proceed to drool on his shoulder. Todd was starting to hate his life. He was just thankful that all her gorging and drinking made her too sleepy to realize that they stopped having sex a year ago.
Thoughts of killing Mindy started to consume Todd’s days. How to kill her without getting caught? He started writing down scenarios:
1st Scenario: Get her drunk. (easy) Take her to a secluded area in the woods. Beat her over the head with a crowbar and leave her there for wild Rottweilers to eat.
Problem: Are there any wild Rottweilers around? If not, where can I get some? What exactly is a crowbar?
2nd Scenario: Just shoot her.
Problem: Will inevitably get caught and go to jail. Will most likely end up with a cellmate named Vicky who thinks I have a pretty mouth.
3rd Scenario: Get her drunk (happens every night anyway). Take her home and put her into her own car in the garage. Roll down the windows, start the car and close the garage door, making it look like a suicide.
Problem: Her parents would blame themselves for her death. I would feel terrible and not be able to live with myself. I wish I had no conscious.
4th Scenario: I might as well live with the fact that I will be stuck with this woman the rest of my life. I’m too nice to kill her and I’m too lazy to move out of the country. I don’t even have a passport. I might as well suck it up and take her to a romantic getaway and ask her to marry me.
Todd started searching for romantic getaways on the internet. He found one on Pine Island in Florida that guaranteed a life changing experience. That was just what he needed -- a life changing experience. He made calls right away making reservations for the following weekend. He told Mindy that evening and she was so excited she ate an entire carton of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice cream and then promptly passed out on his couch.
The following weekend, Todd and Mindy were in a cab on the way to the airport. Todd was trying to work his way up to being excited about having a romantic weekend with the chub monkey sitting next to him. Mindy was eating a snickers bar and smiled at him, peanuts and chocolate wedged between her teeth. “This is going to be so much fun!” She said, spitting bits of peanuts and chocolate towards Todd. He responded by wiping off his face, “Yeah, I can’t wait to get there.”
When they arrived at the Southwest Florida Airport, it was a beautiful, sunny afternoon. Todd went to the rental car desk and picked up the keys to his dream car. A gorgeous red mustang was waiting for him. He was elated! Mindy was not. “Why did you get this? How much did it cost? What a waste of money. I hope you have enough left over to take me to a nice restaurant.”
Todd sighed as he got into the driver’s seat. It felt amazing. He slid his hands around the wheel and closed his eyes. I want a car like this! he thought to himself. He heard an annoying grunt and opened his eyes. Mindy was looking at him through the closed passenger window. “Are you going to unlock my door, or are you going to just sit there like a slug?” She yelled.
Todd hesitated then opened the door locks. “Sorry.” He said. She squeezed herself into the passenger seat saying “Couldn’t you have gotten something roomier? I feel like I’m in a sardine can.”
Todd turned the key and the engine hummed to life, tuning out Mindy’s complaints. During what should have taken 3 hours to drive to Pine Island, Mindy talked and Todd listened. To his credit, he actually heard some of what she was saying and responded at appropriate times. Stopping far too many times for snacks and pee breaks; it was more than 5 hours before they reached the Last Resort Bed and Breakfast.
“This place looks like a dump. I thought you said you were taking me to a resort?” Mindy said as she pried herself out of the Mustang. “This doesn’t look like a resort. It’s just a stupid old house.”
Todd looked at the charming old Victorian house and thought it looked welcoming with its flower boxes spilling out colors from every window. “I said we were going to the Last Resort Bed and Breakfast. I think it looks really nice and peaceful.”
“You would.” Mindy replied. “Grab my bags, will you? I’m exhausted.”
Todd opened the trunk and pulled out their bags. The sun was just starting to set and the view through the palm trees was breathtaking. He stopped what he was doing for a moment to appreciate it and called Mindy to him. “Min, come look at the sunset.”
“What? I don’t want to look at some stupid sunset, I want to get in our room and soak in the tub with a cold glass of wine. Come on.”
Todd pulled himself away from the natural beauty of the sunset and turned to look at Mindy. He was suddenly very depressed. He grabbed the luggage and followed Mindy up the steps to the front door of the old house.
Before they had a chance to knock, the door opened and a smiling face and strong southern accent greeted them. “Hi! Welcome to Pine Island’s Last Resort!”
Todd smiled back and said, “Hi. I’m Todd and this is Mindy.”
“Well of course you are. I’m Fiona. Come on in and make yourselves at home.” Mindy, pushed her way through the door and said, “So where is our room?”
Fiona and Todd followed her into the lobby and Todd set down the luggage. “Wow, this place is great!” The room was colorful and bright and reminded him of the tropics.
“Great? It’s gaudy. God, I hope our room doesn’t have these horrible colors.” spat Mindy with disgust.
Fiona looked at Todd with a ‘you poor baby’ look and smiled at Mindy. “Don’t worry Sugar. Your room is a little more subdued than the rest of the house. Ya’ll follow me and I’ll show you up.”
“Stairs?” Mindy screeched “You have got to be kidding me. What floor are we on? Isn’t there an elevator?”
Fiona looked back at Mindy and said, “Your room is on the second floor Sugar. Just one flight of stairs. There’s a nice bottle of Champaign and a hot bath calling your name.”
They reached the top of the stairs and Mindy was out of breath. Fiona lifted her eyebrows and said, “You okay Sugar?”
Mindy gave her a dirty look and said, “I’m fine, just take us to our room.” Todd gave Fiona an apologetic look and they followed her to the room. “Here we are.” said Fiona, “Room 13.” She unlocked the door and handed Todd the key. “Have a nice evening ya’ll.”
Mindy walked in and immediately started complaining about everything in the room. Todd ignored her and started unpacking. As Mindy went into the bathroom to start her bath, Todd uncorked the Champaign and poured her a very large glass. He walked into the bathroom where Mindy was already soaking in the oversized tub and he handed her the glass of Champaign. “What kind is this? I bet it’s the cheap stuff.” She sucked it down in one gulp and handed Todd back the glass. Could you fill this for me? Thanks.” She lay back and closed her eyes. Todd stared down at her for a moment, imagining himself closing his hands around her neck and pushing her head under the water. A slight smile crossed his lips and Mindy opened her eyes and said, “Todd! Stop daydreaming and fill my glass.”
After finishing off the bottle of Champaign, Mindy got out of the bathtub and staggered to the bed, passing out before her head hit the pillow. Todd forced her body in a semi-comfortable position and covered her. He left the room and went down to the lobby to ask about the local sights. Fiona was sitting out on the front porch drinking sweet tea. “Well hi there Todd. Where’s your girl?”
Todd sat in the chair next to Fiona and smiled. “She’s asleep. It was a long trip here.”
“You got yourself a sweet girl there. Have you known each other long?” Fiona asked.
Todd didn’t know if she was joking or if she was serious. “We’ve been together for a few years. I’m going to ask her to marry me this weekend.”
Fiona set down her glass. “Really? That’s a big step.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t really have a choice.”
“Oh.” said Fiona., “Is she in the family way? That would explain a lot.”
“No.” said Todd. “No. Nothing like that.” He tried to smile, but it came across as hopelessness. “Anyway, I wanted to ask if there was anywhere we should go tomorrow? Somewhere fun.”
Fiona looked at Todd for what seemed like a very long time. “I know the perfect place. It’s romantic and secluded and I think it’s perfect for a marriage proposal.” Todd smiled and Fiona said, “Come inside and I’ll write down directions.”
The next morning, Todd woke to Mindy complaining about how small the bed is. “Didn’t they have a king size? We should get another blanket. You kept stealing the blanket all night.” Todd looked down over his body. No blanket, not even a corner of the sheet. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up stretching. “I have a surprise for you today.” He said.
“Really?” Mindy was suddenly excited. She loved surprises. “What is it? Tell me, tell me!”
Todd smiled and said, “If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise. You need to wear your swimsuit though.”
“Ooh, maybe we will be swimming with dolphins or scuba diving.” She mumbled to herself as she got out of bed to get dressed.
Within a few minutes they were walking down the stairs and Fiona handed them a picnic basket. Following Fiona’s directions, they arrived at Wishing Lake within a few minutes. Todd parked the car and they both got out. “This is the big surprise? A stupid pond?” Mindy said.
“It’s a secluded romantic lake and we have this picnic lunch with a nice bottle of wine. I thought you would like it. We can even skinny dip if you want.” Todd smiled and started to take off his shirt.
Complaining to herself about how the food Fiona made is probably horrible, Mindy took off her clothes, including her bathing suit. “Skinny dipping might be fun.” She said with a sigh. Before Todd took off his shoes, Mindy was in the water splashing around. “The waters not bad. Hurry up.” She whined.
Todd looked up at her and started to say, ‘I’m hurrying.’ when he saw a large dark object sleeking through the water toward Mindy. He couldn’t quite make out what it was until it opened it’s extremely long, toothy mouth and clamped down on Mindy’s head. She never even screamed. The alligator twisted and turned and pulled her under. The last Todd saw of Mindy were her feet as they followed the rest of her body beneath the now bloody and murky water.
Todd stood on the bank still holding his shoe, mouth gaping open in disbelief. “Mindy?” He whispered. “Mindy?” As he stood there watching for movement, the lake became calm and serene. He could hear the birds singing and frogs croaking in the distance. A slight breeze brushed his face and startled him into reality. He gathered their things, got into the car and drove back to the Last Resort.
He walked through the door and Fiona greeted him. “Hi Sugar. Why don’t you sit right down here, and I’ll call the Sheriff.” She sat him in a wicker chair and walked over to the phone. As Fiona waited for the Sheriff to answer, she smiled at Todd and said, “Everything’s gonna be alright Sugar.” Todd stared at her, not knowing what to think.
“Sheriff? Hi, this is Fiona over at Last Resort. We got another accident over at Wishing Lake. Yeah, young couple from out of town. Nope, just the girlfriend. He’s okay. He’s going to be just fine. Bye now.”
“Todd, honey, can I get you some tea?” Todd looked at her. “Tea?” He asked. Fiona smiled sitting down next to him and taking his hand. “You’ve had quite a shock honey. But, don’t you worry, everything is gonna be just fine.”
“It could have been me.” He said, “I could have been the one that was dragged under the water with my head squished in that alligator’s mouth. I could be dead right now.”
Fiona looked at him and smiled her sweetest smile. “Either way Sugar, you would have been free of her, wouldn’t you?”
© 2008 CherikookaReviews
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2 Reviews Added on June 10, 2008 Last Updated on June 10, 2008 |
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