i thought so

would you
     (should you)
chastise me
for living
breathing
dreaming
     feeling
          our almost

how much have you
spent
     on the wasn’t

can i change 
     the dollar
of our pieces
     come out with 
3 quarters
     2 dimes
and a nickel of our
time

the hope i rented
     never would have been
available
          had you not posted
or collected
what was given

     would i
should we
          have found
lines in between
thoughts 
that never should have 
     been
               if we never
were meant
     to end
          let alone
begin

we lived
     i thought
          you felt

  we....

we seemed

Reviews

[just Penny]

I think it's true that once a relationship is done, the focus is on the bad rather than the good. I like the lines :
"the hope i rented
never would have been
available
had you not posted
or collected
what was given"
because it speaks of first attraction. A beautiful write. Penny

[ChemicalMadness]

Penny, as usual, I really enjoyed your take on this piece. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts with me.

CM.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this i so much relate to...there was someone like this in my life...the almost, then the wasn't, but also the maybe should have been---but we not only seemed, for a time, we were.

[ChemicalMadness]

Great take on this, Jacob! Thanks again.

CM.

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Lovely...I love visiting your writing in the quite of the night... it seems to bring a calming peace to my soul. The words you spill flow like rain water, finding it's way to streams...carrying a wistful dream which is your voice here. Quite beautiful to behold.

"can i change
the dollar
of our pieces
come out with
3 quarters
2 dimes
and a nickel of our
time"

And wow...that stanza, blew my mind. Loved it and every line of this piece. Well done as always.

[ChemicalMadness]

Well, you certainly know how to give a compliment :). Thanks so much and I'm glad you connected.
read moreWell, you certainly know how to give a compliment :). Thanks so much and I'm glad you connected.

CM.

[Ghost of Jupiter]

lol, well with your writing it is easy to come up with those compliments. :)