easy as it looks?

take this
     shake this
     make
this 
     all 
          go
away

inside the simple
     easy cloying
overdone 
          antidoting…

inscribed 
     and writ 
          large
in hues
     not only crimson
but mostly known
to you
     lies a quick
not so
     quiet
but quite possibly
    clever
line

     riding
          hiding
just this close
     to (maybe)
               abiding
never even      
          thought of
                         subsiding
but damn good
          at biding
just 
     enough 
               time
to grab your 
face
          hold your eyes
and show you
          all
          i
          need

Reviews

[just Penny]

This has a really good rhythm. Short, sharp sentiments, almost staccato, with a clear message of intent. The final lines are subtly sexy. Tastefully done :) Penny

[ChemicalMadness]

Thank you, Penny. I appreciate your feedback!
CM.

[Ken Simm.]

This is full of quite clever lines. In fact I would go so far as to say they are more than quite clever. Subtle and touching.

[ChemicalMadness]

Thanks, Ken!
CM.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

writ so nicely...i love this...here is my poem for you...it will hold your eyes and show you all i need to show you.

really like the slant rhyme you use...you create subtle rhythm with your rhymes and beat...not a "knock us over the head with form" type of format...

one of my favorites from you with this one.

[ChemicalMadness]

means a lot coming from you. thank you, Jacob.

CM.

[ChemicalMadness]

Your body trembles, of sentiments, unfold, hidden, spoken out yet... the line between you and her, is rather stark, then blur, it's almost given away as a horizon.

You kiss the aurora, of the one you love.

- Elisa

[ChemicalMadness]

lovely. thanks so much, Ellisa!
CM.

You are always welcome my friend, it's a pleasure to read your work of art.... :)

[icelandicblue]

You fast talker you but your sentiment is true. It has a beat that matches that of some lucky girl's heart. It's a fabulous poem especially as the sentiment builds to its phenomenal end.

[ChemicalMadness]

me? fast talker? me?? ;)
thank you, blue. i can't ask for more than fabulous.

CM>

[Corset]

Damn if this doesn't get a girls motor running, I'll count to ten and see how many faint from those last two stanzas, wickly sensual, especially the last sixteen lines, I can hear the purring rising over the din of "oh hells' s/ he's writing again! It's almost unfair to the rest of us.

[ChemicalMadness]

if i was given to blushing, i'd blush...instead, i'll just say 'thank you'....you know how to make a guy feel good :)

[Corset]

oh hell CM that's what they all say!! (JK!! LOLOL)

[Ghost of Jupiter]

uhhh... dumbfounded and speechless... I really am at a loss for words, probably a sign that I shouldn't comment but I can help it, this is brilliant. That last stanza a killer ... an absolutely dead cold killer. I love it, simply amazing.

[ChemicalMadness]

thank you so much...you really made my day :)

CM.