tracing

bear with me, i'm tinkering....

you were found 
once
     in the 
     not so
     long
     ago

new to me then
stacked neatly,
framed
nicely,
          
quite the stanza

quiet blows
     the sand of us
     just scattered grains now
forgotten
swept
out of reach

but every now 
and whenever
     i find you
     like i once did
exactly as you were
               your lines frozen
               in mine
               until our lines
came undone

this counterfeit beach
     (no longer the same)
reminds me of a lovely picture
that came with a
s****y 
frame

Reviews

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Loved the format, like sand slipping through your fingers. The ending quite unique ...haha actually i loved the sucker punch to the gut feel of it. Sorry, don't know a better way to describe that, lol. Wonderful write.

[ChemicalMadness]

Funny, I didn't think of it like that...the sucker punch...but maybe that's because I saw it coming ;)

Thanks!
CM.

[ChemicalMadness]

A (good) frame says all about a good shot... invisible or not, frames are just there in a snapshot. Compared to love, other hand, no "narrow minded thinking" here ;-) but beyond some frames, as well as your heart, never could be so locked up... freedom has no scars, nor lining... (out of the box thinking is great here...) litterally. Nice penning. Enjoyed...

- Elisa

[ChemicalMadness]

always love your take on things! thanks so much for your thoughts!!
CM.

You are very welcome, it's a pleasure to read your great poetry.

[Frieda P]

Wasn't expecting that ending, good to have a sense of humor where love is concerned. Enjoyed the romp through your picturesque poetry.

[ChemicalMadness]

Good to see you around! Thanks, Frieda.

CM.

[FateDictates]

Thanks for making me smile..great job, loved the slam dunk..

[ChemicalMadness]

You're welcome. Thanks for the feedback!

CM.

[icelandicblue]

I love this with its clever imagery and structure. Some lines converge, others break. Still lines can create the poetry of our lives and sometimes we trek across lines that were never meant to be crossed. Everything scatters eventually but when we trace the lines of the scars we carry we remember. This is truly a magnificent poem.

[ChemicalMadness]

loved the insight, blue! thank you so much!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

not so neatly framed when the picture becomes the reality...

sometimes what looks good in the picture, isn't what we get in real life...sort of like at fast food hamburger joints...you look at the sign with the picture and drool...then get the product and say, "what the hell is this?" "this is not what i ordered."

[ChemicalMadness]

Thanks, Jacob.