transverse

nothing ever disappeared

like you

 

in vapor trails

and tall tales

     i see still

           the light of your

                                     smile

(and the hint

of us)

 

the day we broke

i spun my finger round

 

again

i said

to no one

at all

            again

 

we fell

like expectations

collapsed

            exhausted

climbing these walls

yielded such

            prediction

such

predilection

 

i miss you

            the me before us

i saw you

            and it never mattered

 

nothing ever disappeared

            like us

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Heartfelt and emotional. The flow of this one was impeccable to me. In my current state of mind, this one speaks to me in subtle tones. I ended the reading with a sigh... like the closing of a book that was my whole world for a time and is now just a memory. You write in a way that allows the reader to step inside something, and for that I applaud you.

[Ken Simm.]

The format shows how this love poem should be spoken. And it should be spoken and not only to the subject but to others who would surely empathise.

[1VJ]

Your sentiments convey an empty space we've all occupied at one time or another in a totally poignant and incomparable style.

[LJW]

I haven't seen a piece formatted like this in a long time. Seems "real poets" write in block stanzas only. I disagreed then (when I sometimes set a piece up like this) and disagree now. The line in parentheses as well. Love it. An aside. A side thought. Perfect for the point being made.

Format aside, the writing is impeccable, relatable, not overly. wrought, and unique.

A small thing I suppose, but the title rocks.

[ChemicalMadness]

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed. I'm not really a big fan of "the rules" ;) formatting frames the content...at least in my world. I appreciate your kind words.

CM.

[Aethereal]

Ah, your poem is exceptional in both structure and content. It inspired me to write the following tiny gift poem for you to keep as your own.

Vapor

She’s a vapor on the breeze
from the ground up through the trees
thinning rising towards the moon.
Watch her vanish all too soon.

[ChemicalMadness]

Very special words...thank you so much for your gift...and your review.
CM.

[lost girl]

You have me captivated with the very first piece I clicked upon. Making me want to subscribe to... listen to more. You are familiar to me in your essence...your phrasing...I feel like this is a memory of my own. I hope you don't mind me walking through...this is worthy. P.s. Birdy is one of my many favorites :)

[ChemicalMadness]

Thank you so much for the feedback. It feels good to connect :)

[emmajoy]

'nothing ever disappeared ~ like us ' .. .. .. there's so much emptiness in the space after those words.

Beautifully, emotionally, tenderly written because every phrase is felt outside in.

[Horizon K.]

You caught me... I think I'm gonna cry... freeze or melt from this. Stunning CM, and I am stunned.

Why to miss, a love, a past, memory, when all that is inside of you, makes you still breathe, makes you walk, through, those memories, treasure them, as long as you can, treasure them, until your memory fades away, never close a thing, for it has mind-gates, openings, paradoxes, and other than that, free ways, after you've seen these endless galaxies, of the mirrored vixen's beauty...

- Elisa