ah yes....Paris

in the days before

we became

 

too acclimated

to small miracles

like breathing

like blood

rushing

 

in the moments between

breaths caught

up in the moment

(again)

 

we used to...

 

and the problem

is there

in the past tense

 

we

     used

too

 

under covers

too preoccupied

to pre-consider

left in the future

to reconsider

    that trip we

    took

to Buenos wherever

or Santo whenever

no matter

            we saw

            in thick clouds

            of wet sky

days drenched and slick

with the everything

of you

and i

 

            too preoccupied

            to bother

with the weather

until that day

i lodged my

complaint

where did the sky

go

when will we breathe

again

how will we ever

dry

     out

in all this rain

 

my darling,

you said

 

no one ever comes here

for the

weather

 

and so the world slept

while Paris

churned out

            another lover

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

Oh how I love the structure and the beauty you have written here. The weather can be ignored in loves glow but it can also be a harbinger of things that come to pass. Beautifully romantic and sad is this.

[A. Doyle]

I loved reading this! I felt a longing and a sadness throughout. I have to admit I felt a little confused at the end- 'another lover'- because I had the feeling of loss throughout and yet it seemed to end with a 'gain''. But no matter, I loved the flow, the imagery, and the feeling it gave me. AD

[Corset]

Rain in Paris, what a beautiful vision, I can just see all the umbrellas opening in iconography just like the painting "Paris red Umbrella" by Robert Canady. This poem (although a little pithy at the ending which is easily overlooked considering the juxtaposition) is beautiful, creative and unique.

[Frieda P]

Ah, the rain is affecting even in Paris....reminds me of that quote “You are the sky. Everything else, it’s just the weather.” Lovely CM!

[K. Louis]

You have a great skill for assonance in your writing. It is always so subtle..and maybe sometimes you do this subconsciously...but your placement is spot on. I love the rhythm of your poetry, and there's always 'you' in your words. Very well done.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

This one was difficult for me to place... I see the lovers, and their coming together in preoccupation of everything except for their connection, and then I see a shift in the narrator's questioning of love, but in the end all seems to be set back on track, and yet I am left feeling somewhat sad. This one held a lot of emotion, and I think that this is one of those pieces that begs for a second or third reading and some mulling over before it is fully understood. On the surface, I am fairly certain there is an undertone of love that was once a flame turning slowly into something less "burning", but all is not lost, it seems. Another emotional write that made me think.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this has sadness in it...two lovers who love with reckless abandon, ignoring all that goes around outside of their world of passion...but over the years...their attention diverted, they do watch the rain, hear the rain, feel the rain of this once Paris-like...Paris-passioned love start to become too acclimated..and therefore ...the fire has shifted to a mellow flame.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

The dismal rain changes everything...climate does wonders for lovers in Paris...

Nicely done...well penned!...

[ChemicalMadness]

Thanks so much!!