Wrote

where would happiness roam
if we away
with her soul

what touch
would feel
if we only steel

it's in the answers
the questions shuffle-shoe
and start to feel
ridiculous

i asked
because i wanted to see
you

reflex shines on desire
so much brighter
than rehearsed lines

Reviews

[lost girl]

More of that "Real Voice" as I heard it called as of late. It's very inviting. It is as if I can hear you reading it aloud and I have no idea what you sound like. I am drawn to a style. I am drawn to words...feelings. I will be back to explore more. Thank you for sharing.

[icelandicblue]

We can't live our lives through a script. There are many questions and paths that must be discovered for us to find happiness, we cannot expect her to find us.

[Ink]

You forgot to capitalize the first "I" in the fourth stanza =3 (unless that was intentional)

That ending was a killer, so true and executed masterfully. More than anything, I enjoyed the brevity of this piece, how you didn't sacrifice your message (from what I can tell) to obtain that, and the amount of thought this provoked in me.

[ChemicalMadness]

Thank you. You were almost right: I rarely capitalize my "i's" in my work. The mistake in that stanza is actually the capital "I"......which I will now fix. Thanks!

[Emily B]

your voice is so inviting, i could spend some time in this place

[Robbie~xoxo~]

The last stanza was the cherry on top... love the wistful emotion you have illuminated in this piece. Nicely done!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

i asked
because I wanted to see
you

reflex shines on desire
so much brighter
than rehearsed lines -- My favorite part of the piece...the ending really took center stage in this piece for me.

So true...rehearsed lines are the death of true inspiration and romantic emotion. There is nothing worse than being with someone who is trying to "be on their best behavior"; this really is nothing more than a lie. You wrote into being something quite interesting here, and I found myself drowning a little in the emotions. Nicely done.

[ChemicalMadness]

Glad you came for a swim in my pool ;)

[Vria P Crow]

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

1. The unique style first attracted my mind's eye as I attempt to dissect it under a magnifying glass.

VOCABULARY I ENJOY

1. Happiness
2. Soul
3. Steel
4. Shuffle-shoe
5. Rehearsed

CONTENT

A human composes a "soul" which can be interpreted in various ways from my perception:

1. The Spiritual Soul
2. The Religious Soul
3. The Poetic Soul

Here, I believe the key is The Poetic Soul. The Poetic Soul is honest about their emotions and actions.

FAVORITE STANZA

The last stanza is my favorite because it shows the reader that moments cannot be created; it happens on its own accord.

CONCLUSION

"Wrote" displays an aptitude for wisdom on relationships.

Well done, CM!

[Dana Alsamsam]

the last three lines hit my bones like piano keys- very very well done! the word play in this is intricate and interesting and i read this a few times to fully appreciate it- great job!

[ChemicalMadness]

Thank you, Dana.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh yes, spontaneity...the more we think about it..the less likely we are to say anything...or anything worthwhile to get that person's love.

we need to just say it...natural reaction is much smoother than rehearsed lines.

sounds like a poem shakespeare would write if he tried something other than sonnets...

nice work
jacob

[ChemicalMadness]

Appreciate it, Jacob.

[Astro]

I really like the use of language here Chem, it took me by surprise right from the beginning. Thought provoking questions to mull about and chew the fat on. Cool write, or "Wrote". ;)

[ChemicalMadness]

Or rote ;)

Thanks.

[Astro]

You're welcome.