the eyes of you

i wonder

    what would happen

if i ever

    saw as cleanly

           through me

     as you

 

would eyes

     that are so clearly

            not mine

     feel at home

inside

       this quiet

 

i’ve been looking over

      my shoulder

            for days

            staring straight through

     the tempered glass

         of me

and i wonder

        where are you

 

            still

looking through

    my windows

holding thoughts of me

    in front of the light

looking clean through

 

     wondering all the time

 

why  i can’t see you clean

          like you see

                  me

Reviews

[lost girl]

100 views and only 4 reviews...others must be mesmerized by you too. I don't think it is easy to look inwardly at ourselves..through ourselves. I don't think we always look for connection within ourselves. I also think that is why many of us don't use all the gifts we are given.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i also tripped a bit with the "clean" in the last stanza...

but love this poem...if only we could see ourselves as others see us...and if only our vision in general was just a bit more clear and focused so we would have enough understanding...

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I've been looking over
my shoulder
for days
staring straight through
the tempered glass
of me
and I wonder
where are you -- this is my favorite stanza/favorite lines. I have been here, the metaphorical searching (if not some literal searching as well). It's hard to see ourselves, sometimes, the way that others see us. I often wonder what I look like to others through their eyes, because through my own eyes I carry the baggage that creates a projection of feelings that may overshadow reality.

The ending...I felt was a bit cryptic. "Why I can't see you clean/like you see/me"-- I mean, I think I understand the implications of what you are trying to convey in that you are longing to see someone in the same light as they see you; someone sees you as a masterpiece and you want to see them as one as well, but in the beginning I felt as though you were trying to see yourself as another sees you...so, anyway, perhaps I got lost in the words and it is a little late.

Overall, always impressive...blah, blah...have a good night :)

[Paula]

Yeah, for some their elusiveness makes them all the more attractive. Sometimes it's peril and sometimes pearls.

[ChemicalMadness]

i like that. thank you.

[Cool Handless Luke]

would eyes
that are so clearly
not mine
feel at home
inside
this quiet
of mine

sweet lines. i love the form of the poem and how it manages to flow. another thought provoking piece CM.

[ChemicalMadness]

thanks, brother!