there it is

i found my tie

today

 

under the bed

    hiding

colluding

    holding out hope

inches away

                from one thin strand

of you

 

how fitting

                that tie

                sits like it was born

                to wrap round

                your neck

you used to say

 

and i always thought

                it looked best

wrapped round

    your

         wrist

Reviews

[K. Louis]

Sometimes, less is more..and that definitely fits with this piece. It's amazing how much we see when something goes missing; An everyday object becomes an association. I liked the way you structured it, and left the reader to escape with you in the ending. Great read!

[K. Louis]

I've been meaning to stop by your page again to find this one and I did! Gotta shelve this...I can't get that tie outta' my head until I do! phew.

[.]

:: ah... prankster verse... i'm so happy to be here... :: the "under the bed" stanza... is amazingly stunning... excellent use of the word "colluding"... (imho)... "one thin strand of you" is what i hold on to... (with regard to a certain mister blue)... you seem like the owner of a perfect neck and she seems like the owner of the perfect wrist... :: more importantly... (or maybe i should say a bit more importantly)... this piece captures that strange satisfaction one derives from discovering something that's hiding under the bed... :: being someone who has done both... the hiding and the discovering... i'm grinning like a delighted cookie... :: my prankster heart is amazed and tickled silly... :: i didn't find anything sinister or seductive in this piece... it's a pure ode to pranksterism... (imho)... :)

[Dinesh Sairam]

Ah, another "everyday instances brought to life" moment here. I just though 'colluding' might be redundant. Other than that, it's simply delightful.

Keep writing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, i'm thinking "frenzy" here...isn't that the hitchcock one with the ties as weapon of choice?

[ChemicalMadness]

pretty sure if you can name it, hitchcock used it ;)
Thanks for reading, Jacob.

[Oceana]

Ooooh, I quite like this. The format, the content, everything. Love it, CM! :)

[ChemicalMadness]

Thanks, O.

[Astro]

I like the way you stack and stifle and setting aside dialogue. Makes for an interesting way to frame a moment in time, on top of another time and place and go from an innocent beginning searching, to the more poignant ending of changing the use of the tie into something sadomasochistic. Nice style.

[ChemicalMadness]

thanks for reading and responding - i always enjoy your feedback!

[Astro]

As always, my pleasure.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Hmm...this is a sensual little derevation. I quite like the images in this one, as well as the emotions. We have loss, denial, and then there is a shred of hopeful remembrance. You weave your words clearly and concisely, which I greatly admire. Well done, my friend.

[ChemicalMadness]

Appreciate the feedback - maybe i'll work on something "ornate" for you :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

haha I'll hold you to that...just write a lot of flowery nonsense about Greek gods and crytpic feelings using big words. :)

[ChemicalMadness]

I totally used a greek word for one of my titles today - does that count?

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Only partially...

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Simple yet absolutely brilliant.

[ChemicalMadness]

thank you so much.

[Emily B]

oh, there it is

[ChemicalMadness]

boom.

[Emily B]

like thunder ringing in my ears