Melpomene Whispers

i was
once
a new thing
i had then
a gem's
glisten
bowed head
unmet eyes
thirsty to listen

colors played through words
new languages formed
with wonder
eagerly met
clearly heard
through a child's prism

in the background
meticulous metronomes warred
and warned
of dalliance

my fervid fingers
(never ones to see)
continued quickly
their dance

until in the lightness
of dark hours
her gentle tap
touched
unsuspecting nerve
cool lips met warm ear
in anticipation of
whispers

(it was perhaps then
the last i'd ever
hear)

blossoming gems
(she spoke so slowly)
once cut
and displayed
fast fade
becoming baubles
in decay

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

All nice and well worded...:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

did you mean " a gem's glisten"?

i love this poem...i see innocence, a zeal to learn things...the boy observing...then becoming a man via a relationship...but unfortunately the boy is zapped out of him...the youth "becoming baubles/ in decay"

she has given him that fatal whisper...broken his heart...and now he has learned too much.

[ChemicalMadness]

I did...fixed the error. Thank you for asking.

Enjoy your take, as usual.
CM

[Steven]

Fantastic writing. It's enshrouded in mystery, much like adult knowing is to a child. The concept of a gem almost 'wilting' into a bauble was incredibly clever. Many layers here... I got much out of it.

[ChemicalMadness]

Thanks, Steven. I like 'wilting' - it suits the piece.

[emmajoy]

The opening lines are life born, opening eyes to what's in store; days pass in awareness, in beauty. Then, oh then, there's that arrival of sweet whispers that deafen everything else and leave you smiling, content. Nothing else matters.

Beautiful words, gently placed.

[ChemicalMadness]

Thanks, Em!

[Astro]

Very interesting imagery and style. I got hung up on a few lines and was forced to take my time until, like a coming over the mountain the valley of your meaning was displayed. Good use of inner and outer voice and rhyme to boot. Deeply charming.

[ChemicalMadness]

Appreciate the review and kind words...glad my intent was able to shine through.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Mmm...melancholy and beautiful at the same time. I like the sensuality with which you write. We were all young once; at least in terms of our innocent notions of love and social interaction. Then we lose it...it sort of fades away like pollen on the wind. *sigh* I find this still happens to me on occasion; the fleeting fire and the eventual smoldering doom.

The last two stanzas brought this home for me. I like the idea of the whispers, and speaking slowly, because it sort of draws out the feeling here. I quite liked this one.

[ChemicalMadness]

This one, when paired with 'in passing' is sort of a melancholy/dark/twisted take on a variety of he-said/she-said, I suppose....though I never intended to pair the two, I realized after I'd posted that each ends with an unsuspected message delivered via whisper....who knew? ;)

[ChemicalMadness]

And Thank You, by the way :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

See...cryptic...and yet still beautiful! :)