19 days of you

19 days of rain
sweat stuck and twisted up
in shell shocked sheets
never seen dreams like these
where heat seems to freeze
every other breath
satiates
and oh god
won't these pounding
drowning drops ever
slip stop, take a break?
furious minds filled fast
like too small tin buckets
always breathless pushed
to overflow
and inside sideways
hand holds
wrist tight
lightly skirting
control
too late to be tamed
teeth touch with no remorse
no intention of changing
course
bitten like lips bee stung
and flung hard against
my chest, fingers slide smooth
gliding lightly
heavy in the humid fog
of what must surely be
stretching farther than these sheets
had dreamed

Water cold
spills like quiet truth
across lips teeth tongue
as you mistake
my eyes
for gods
like urgent lies
we come undone

Outside the rain
falls like heartbeats

19 days of rain
and I still can't shake
the taste of
you

Reviews

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Ah the rain... can bring out so much in people, the passion dripping from your sodden words ... intensely beautiful. Ohh and that last stanza... wow. Nicely done.

[ChemicalMadness]

this one holds a special place with me...it probably needs some reworking...i can look at it now with a different eye....but then i always wonder if it's better to improve or leave things the way they were....i'm starting to lean towards tinkering....but i digress ;)

Glad you enjoyed!
CM.

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Sometimes when you tinker too much you take away the feel of the original thoughts and emotions that sparked the write. Yet the author always knows best. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this goes back and forth for me between a lover's tryst and one wrestling with thoughts, being full of angst and worry, and not being able to sleep...the first interp. for me makes me think of lovin' spoonful song.."rain on the roof"' "you and me and rain on the roof, caught up in a summer shower, drying while it soaks the flowers, maybe we'll be caught for hours..waiting out the sun"

the second idea makes me think of it raining inside the speaker's head, and it won't let up..the sheets and the pillow damp with the sweat of worry...

so the scales go back and forth..either way...abstract in a way...and so sensual...

great write, C.M

jacob

[Robbie~xoxo~]

OH MY!...it's hot in here!!!!!!!!!! lol

Where do I start?!...

First of all I love, love, love the rain...it does something to my thoughts...
But you Sir, have taken romance to another level. You had me at "hello"~from the beginning all the way to the end...what a sweet spiral of release...definitely "undone".. (sigh)

This is an invitation in which I relish, as if "teeth" were meant to leave a delicious mark on skin.

"lightly skirting
control
too late to be tamed
teeth touch with no remorse
no intention of changing
course
bitten like lips bee stung
and flung hard against
my chest, fingers slide smooth
gliding lightly
heavy in the humid fog
of what must surely be
stretching farther than these sheets
had dreamed"~ Still lingering in my mind.... Sexy as hell. A Stunning write!

I will most definitely be reading this again, my friend...especially on a rainy night. ;)

into my faves you go...

[ChemicalMadness]

Day = made.
Thank you so much.
CM.

[Steven]

I love the ending especially... That idea of lingering taste--really the perfect metaphor. The whole piece bangs with adrenaline. Nice write.

[Kristin Lee]

I like this one. It has a sad/bitter undercurrent that sweeps you up into it. It's almost poigntant, if your able to dive that deep into it. I love the imagergy in your buzz words. The picture you paint is like a revolving door, it changes every time I read it. Great job.

[Frieda P]

This is like dark chocolate, the bittersweet taste of emotions all rolled up in one delicious bite. Yummy read, muchly enjoyed!

[Fernando Pessoa]

What a brilliant ambiance you create with the softness of your words and the movement of your emotion. I loved the bittersweet music.

"Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river." ~ Malagasy Proverb

[ChemicalMadness]

Thanks, Paul. I've got to ask...how do you always come up with these perfect quotes??? You're a quote machine!!

[Fernando Pessoa]

It's my secret! hahaha! Actually, I dig all over the internet... Glad you like them. Love your poetry!

[Vannessa Monroe]

spine tingling write dear, and very very sexy indeed.

[ChemicalMadness]

Thanks hon!

[emmajoy]

' Water cold ~ spills like quiet truth ~ across lips teeth tongue ~ as you mistake ~
my eyes ~ for gods ~ like urgent lies ~ we come undone .. '

Love the way your words run down the 'page'.. plus, plus - there's a rhythm going line by line, like the drumming of rain on rooftops. And, that rustling, bustling exquisitly written bed-dancing going on in time with the rain, crescendos and pauses, soft pedalling and all.

'Outside the rain ~ falls like heartbeats ~ 19 days of rain ~ and I still can't shake ~ the taste of ~ you '

[icelandicblue]

Your use of weather elements in this is really well done. I love the term slip slop- I love the way it rolls off of my tongue. This is a gray poem; it falls between stark contrasts in a most inviting fashion.

[ChemicalMadness]

Appreciate it, ice. One correction: it's slip-stop ;). Sub in 'slop' if you'd prefer, though ;)