Arcadia found

This one needs work...wanted to get the basic idea down though...

Show me please 

how you do that trick

with such ease

throwing words to the trees

watch as they tight rope the breeze

     feather flutter phrases down

paintings swimming in my head

    spun round

conjure up still worlds

for me

placid-smiling set them

free

watch, you'll say

hold and listen

     from behind closed eyes

     even darkness glistens

suspend me free

in the silk of you

show me again

strands of perfect green

nothing

adorned in ideas

put forth 

     no platter

          no alarm

               no clatter

simple talk 

complicates with necessity

urges with fervor

drowns completely

in arms and hearts 

and currents that carry me

down

sweet down

this brilliant place

this heartbeat world 

only ours

     Arcadia found

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

What do you mean this needs some work? Are you kidding?! I dare say this is one of my favorite works of yours. The words simply sing off the page, my friend. I don't find any problem with the rhythm, as a matter of fact, I feel that the tempo and beat is just beautiful, especially when read aloud. Perhaps, if only a teeny tiny bit, the middle portion is slightly choppy, but I honestly didn't mind it. The piece is good...very good.

and currents that carry me
down
sweet down
this brilliant place
this heartbeat world
only ours

I'm enthralled by these lines, truly so...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like this poem...but yes, it seems the rhythm is on and off...just a smoothing out..will be a matter of a bit of tweaking...but keep the core of this the same...it is a really good piece.