Merry Christmas, baby

I still remember
      watching
your pupils
dilate
and swallow
your frozen
     fragile face
as i tied our car
in a haphazard bow
around that

    greedy tree

The moon was behind us
(I know )
because your hair
was playing fancy games
sliding

          down

                   your
too pale shoulders
(November’s sad hue

 always lingered on you)
      just like

         Our daughter
did
before our cares
added so carefully up
now the awkward limbed
boys who wish in feverish dreams
       to be
               Men
gather round their cell phones
all backlit like fireflies
putting no thought
to words
           laid down
           with no pen
What's up Jen?
slyly subtle invitation
come explore
Me

Devious moonlight
bounced off your single silver
strand of hair
ironically mocking your years
soon taken
too soon
by the stolid
mocking statue

that f*****g tree

Remember the Christmas
when
we burned our tree
         down
to the well worn
parquet
green-melted
mangle-massed
       tree stand stained
       and tainted
our tree strung heavy
with our hope-strands
and wish-lights
which burned too bright

I always knew that tree
would get back at
             Me

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

This poem in which you have created a story is mesmerizing and your end is fabulously ironic. There was a lot of memorable imagery. This is just a snippet of your inviting words:
The moon was behind us
I know
because your hair
was playing fancy games
sliding down your
too pale shoulders

I adore this poem and I applaud your talent.

[shythatway]

Oh yes. Dark and twisted, hope-strands, wish-lights, the image of the car tied as a bow. (Trees really do get back at you..) Perfect. :) To me, the 'old' story about the Christmas tree burning down stands out as the 'real' tragedy in this one.. Don't know if that made any sense to you.

[ChemicalMadness]

It does make sense to me! I had to rewrite that stanza a few times...I'm so glad you connected there...and thanks for digging through the archives for this one ;).

[Vannessa Monroe]

fantastic imagery dear- lovely lovely write

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow that tree got the speaker back...i saw the death, the car wrapped around the tree...the daughter texting...the fear of the same thing happening to her.

better put away the matches and leave that christmas tree alone...all those hopes hanging there like tinsel...will burn too easily if lit.

[ChemicalMadness]

Thank you for reading, Jacob.

[Frieda P]

I'm left speechless here, first off, I hope this darkness if just your brilliance shining through...I saw the title and rolled my eyes, not xmas now...but holy....this is an awe inspiring read. Enthralling and gave my goosebumps chills. Outstanding CM...Bravo

100/100 This goes right on the shelf.

[ChemicalMadness]

Thank you...from some of your writes, I had a feeling this one might appeal to your darker side ;). I'm glad the title threw you, but never thought it might preclude some from reading...in fact, if I stumbled across just this title, I know I wouldn't click the link either :)

I truly appreciate the kind words and the time you took to share your thoughts...

[Frieda P]

Ha, that made me laugh, you know my dark side already Lol...my pleasure, this was truly a pleasure to read.

[Jordan Bryant]

This is beautiful. I think the short, succinct lines perfectly convey the tone and feel of this piece. The first stanza is really breathtaking. I wouldn't change anything about it. I love the way the tree comes back in different places and kind of evolves into something else. Very well done.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Fabulous piece...truly. I love the story, and this just feels "masterful" in a way. There is insight here and a texture of grit and beauty that comes from the "real world", which i truly enjoy. I love the ending...witty, devilish, and yet thought provoking. Nicely done.

[_mal]

This is epic. I love 'all backlit like fireflies' you have a really fresh voice and an original powerful way of letting sounds and image flow. This poem is like standing in one place with the thoughts rolling around leaving prints

[ChemicalMadness]

Thank you! I value your perspective, so those kind words mean so much. I look forward to seeing more of your work as well...

[Trigorin]

Not bad at all. A little fragmented in parts, but your use of imagery makes up for that very well. I like your tone in this but it gets a little too halting, I think - use those one-word lines more sparingly. Good work.

[ChemicalMadness]

I appreciate the feedback. I mostly write on my iPad, whose browser hates this site and effs up all my formatting....ill be interested inserting what you think when I get this tweaked so it plays as I hear it...thank you for taking the time to review!!

[Emily B]

sometimes i get this little premonition about halfway through a reading, that my mind is going to be sufficiently blown so that i won't have a word to say in review

wow, and here i am

[ChemicalMadness]

Thank you thank you thank you....I'm a w***e for encouragement ;) but I also take a punch pretty well too...

So glad you enjoyed!!