I had a miscarriage and it’s okay

Why having a miscarriage doesn’t have to break you down

A year and a half ago I went to Monterey to celebrate my second anniversary. It was amazing and brought me and my boyfriend closer together in so many more ways than we expected.
Two months later I found out we were expecting. I was so excited of course, kids are amazing and I’ve always wanted one but of course it’s not always that easy.
One in four known pregnancies end in miscarriage. It’s a common fact and one I was very much stuck on, especially after learning I was pregnant.
After my first doctors appointment my doctor instructed me not to worry about a miscarriage and soon after I began telling people. I was so excited and wanted to share it with the world. I took care of myself and was gentle in everything I did. Taking vitamins and eating as healthy as I could.
At my second doctors appointment I was told the news I would not carry this baby to term. I could either have a d&c or I could wait to naturally miscarry.
I decided to wait, not knowing how terrible it would really be. I was literally waiting for the worst thing in the world to happen. I had to go back to work with everyone knowing I was pregnant and asking about the fetus.
I fell into a deep depression thinking I was a failure.
When I finally passed the fetus about a month later I decided to throw myself into my work. I got a second job and threw myself into working, sometimes 60 hours a week.
Now a year and a few months later I’m realizing it was one of the best things to happen to me.
How can you have a kid when you’re a kid yourself. And how can you take care of a fragile baby when you’re so fragile yourself.
I’m here to say it’s okay.
I know I’m not alone.
It’s okay to go through something terrible and come out okay. It’s okay to let things happen and still smile.
So here I am over a year after my miscarriage trying to raise myself.