Chapter 1: First Memory

Shay has a memory that she never wanted to relive. Can Grayson figure out what the memory means? And what is it that Shay is afraid to tell her old friends?

 

 

 

Chapter 1: First Memory

 

 

 

The teacher was rambling on about something that I already knew, so I was trying to look like I was paying attention when I was really thinking of what the horrible feeling in my gut was trying to tell me. It had started about an hour after school began. That was well over three hours ago, and it had done nothing but grow into a raging monster inside me.

 

My whole body was tense and felt hot. I knew that if one was to look at my face, they would see a disgruntled expression. I would probably look sick, or maybe even hurt. Sweat was beginning to bead at my hairline, and I drew a shaky hand up to wipe it away. I tried to calm myself by taking deep breaths.

 

I looked around the room at the other students trying to take my mind off of the sickening feeling in my chest. Jacob Black was sitting three chairs in front of me and to the left one row. It was only days ago when he had helped me from the girls who bullied me on a daily basis. The only thing he had said to me was “are you alright?” and when I answered yes he just walked away.

 

Since that day, I haven’t been able to get him off my mind. I have wanted to talk to him, but I can’t seem to get up the nerve to do so. I watched as his body slouched back into his seat and he let out a small sigh that just screamed boredom. Though he hasn’t talked to me since that day, he has been making much more eye contact than usual.

 

In that instant I decided that I would talk to him. Today I would talk to him. But I want him to talk to me first. What if he doesn’t want to talk to me? But then why does he look at me? Never mind. I don’t want to talk to him now. I talked myself out of it.

 

My body had started to relax a little, but the feeling of something indescribably bad remained. It was almost like it was etched into my soul now. There was no getting rid of it I realized. I reverted my eyes back to the teacher.

 

She was still going on about something unimportant, and I tried my best to listen to her again. I had to at least get the homework for tonight before she moved on to the next subject.

 

There was a soft knock on the door, and it opened to reveal the principle. She had a grim look on her face, and I knew that she was going to call me to her office. A knot twisted in my stomach and it took everything I had not to get sick right there. I started standing before she even called my name. She motioned for me to make my way to her office while she whispered something inaudible in my teachers ear.

 

It seemed like it took me forever to get to her office. When I got there I took a seat in the chair in front of her desk and attempted to swallow the lump in my throat. A few minutes later the principle walked in and pulled her desk chair around so that she could sit next to me. This was going to be bad.

 

“Shayleen. Do you have any relatives? Like grandparents or aunts or uncles?” She asked in a soft voice. My heart was pounding in my chest, and it took all I had not to clamp my hands over it to try to calm it down.

 

I shook my head no. It was an honest answer. I really didn’t have any relatives. At least none that I knew of. I looked up into her eyes, and I saw the pain in them. I knew that I was about to feel the same pain she was feeling, only multiplied. She reached over and grabbed my hands that were laying on my lap. I tried to brace myself for whatever it was I was about to hear.

 

“Shay, there has been an accident.” She waited for any reaction from me before she continued. But she didn’t need to continue. I already knew what she was going to say. My mind refused to say it though. Refused to believe it. I had to hear it from her. It was the only way I would believe the truth.

 

“It’s your parents. They were in a very bad car accident, and well, Shay I’m afraid they didn’t make it.” That was it. The words crashed into me hard, like someone had just thrown me against a wall. My mind completely blanked, and all I knew was pain.

 

I could feel the tears pouring down my face, and the sobs began escaping from my lips. My vision was black, I couldn’t see the barer of bad news that sat in front of me. But I could feel her arms scoop me up and bring me close to her. I could hear her cooing soft words of comfort to me, though they did nothing but make it worse. Then she said “it’s going to be okay” and everything in me turned from sadness to anger.

 

It was not going to be okay. My parents were dead. I was alone. I had no friends, no family. My life was ruined. I had nobody. So no, it wasn’t going to be “Okay.” And though I was now pissed at a person who was trying to do no more than comfort me, I didn’t let it show. Because I understood how she felt too. She had to have this on her shoulders. She had to be the one to deliver the news to me. And I instantly felt bad for being mad at her.

 

So I cried for my parents, and for me being alone, and also for blaming someone who had no part in it. The truth was that it was all my fault. I couldn’t blame anyone but myself. The reason my parents were dead was because of me. And I would never forgive myself for it.

 

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My eyes shot open and I sucked in a deep breath. I was pressed against a mans chest. Grey’s I realized. He was gently rocking me back and forth whispering soothing words in my ear. He knew that I had woke up, so he brought a strong hand to my head and ran it through my hair. That always calmed me down. It was a trick that only two people in the whole world knew about.

 

His chest was slimy and wet from my tears and nose. We were sitting up in bed and I was pulled into his lap. I sniffled and tried to stop crying, but my body just wouldn’t obey my mind. For long minutes Grey softly rocked me back and forth, running his hand through my hair as I slowly began to calm down.

 

Finally after almost thirty minutes of crying, I was calm. I pulled away from the man holding me with strong arms and looked up into his grey eyes. There was worry written all over his face, but he managed to give me a reassuring smile.

 

I could still feel my body trembling, and I took a few deep breaths so that I could try to explain what had just happened. Grey brought the hand that was tangled in my hair around to my face and traced my jaw line with his thumb. I let a heavy sigh escape my lips.

 

“What’s wrong baby?” Grey asked in his husky voice. Worry was thick and his normal deep voice became even deeper, almost scary. My eyes darted around the room for a moment then almost as quickly as they had left, they returned back to his gaze.

 

“I was dreaming. Only the dream wasn’t really a dream.” I didn’t really know how to explain it to him. I watched his face turn from worry to confusion and his head tilted slightly to the side.

 

“What do you mean “wasn’t really a dream?” I don’t understand.” He answered honestly. His words weren’t so dark now. His usual voice had returned. I thought for a moment.

 

“Well it was more of a memory than a dream.” And I saw in his eyes that he still didn’t understand. “Everything that happened in the dream really happened to me many years ago. That’s why it wasn’t a dream. It was a memory. An old memory that I had stuffed in the back of my head to forget.” Then the understanding came to him.

 

“Well, do you want to tell me what it is or do you not want to talk about it right now?” He asked authentically curious.

 

So I began going over every detail of the memory. Telling him everything I was feeling, thinking, and seeing. Grey was very good at figuring things like this out, and maybe he would know why after all these years, I was remembering something that had been buried away for so long. By the time I was done telling him the memory I was crying again. But I had control of myself and I wasn’t completely hysterical like when I first woke up. He just looked down at me.

 

I picked his brain, listening to what he was thinking. It was one of many skills that I have had for years. The only person who knew about it was Grey. Along with being able to read others minds, I was also able to project my thoughts into their brain if I so wished.

 

“Yeah, it’s a lot to take in huh?” I sent the message to his mind and almost instantly I heard him think “yes.”

 

“So what do you think it means? Why after all these years am I suddenly remembering, and in such vivid details?” I asked him, not wanting to make the effort to keep the mind link open.

 

I watched as he brought his hand up and ran it through his hair. I could tell that he was trying to work through it in his mind, trying to find some reason why I would have this memory ten years after it happened. “Well, did you think of your parents at all yesterday?” His voice was strained again, tainted with that scary deepness like before.

 

“I think of them everyday. But the memory of them dying, well that’s been locked away for years. I don’t think of it, for obvious reasons.” I brought my still somewhat shaky hands up to massage my temples. My head was pounding, and I knew the only way to fully get rid of it was to sleep it off. But I was afraid to go back to sleep. What if I started having the memory again?

 

I looked over at the electric clock. I knew that it was still dark, there was no light in the room. The clock read 3:42 a.m. Though it was dark in the room, it was easy for Gray and I to see because of our enhanced eye sight. Another quality that our species possesses.

 

Gray and I are wolves, or shape shifters. We can change easily from human to wolf or wolf to human in a blink of an eye. Though we are only slightly bigger than the average wolf, we pack a punch with smarts and our secret weapons. At birth we are all gifted with a power, rather its control of an element, psychic abilities, or super strength, it can be anything that we can use to our advantage. The hard part is trying to figure out which power your gifted with, and master it.

 

For me, I am gifted with more than one power. I have control over all the elements; fire, water, wind, earth, and spirit. Along with the elements, I have an array of others that I am still discovering and still trying to master.

 

Gray took his hands and held my face between them. His grey eyes were filled with worry, but behind the worry I could see that he was curious about what was going on. “Shay, are you sure your ok?”

 

I nodded my head, then pulled away from him. He looked at me confused, and I pointed to my throbbing head, “headache. I’m going to get some medicine before it gets any worse.” I stood up, but was gently pushed back onto the bed.

 

“I’ll get it, you just lay there and try to go back to sleep. Your exhausted. We will try to figure this out in the morning.” I sighed and nodded again, and reluctantly laid back down, curling into a ball.

Trying to ignore the pounding in my head, I started thinking of my parents again. Ten years seemed like so long, but it really wasn’t. At least not in our lifetime.

 

Gray returned a few minutes later with some Tylenol and a glass of water, and handed them to me. I threw the pills to the back of my throat and downed the glass of water. The water seemed to help, and I felt myself relax a bit. I closed my eyes and sunk into the soft bed.

 

Gray crawled into bed next to me, and pulled the covers over us. I turned to face him, and pressed my face into his chest. His arms snaked around me and he ran his fingers up and down my spine. I smiled against his skin, and gave him a light kiss on his chest before looking up into his eyes. He was smiling down at me, content holding me in his strong arms.

 

Gray always makes me feel safe. He has been with me through so much, and I could never imagine life without him now. He is the sweetest man I have ever met, but he also has a stable mind, knows what he wants in life, and the best part, he makes me smile. Over the past five years that we have been together he has become my best friend, my lover, and my mate.

 

He is the closest thing to perfect I have ever had in my life. He always knows just what to say when I’m down, he always knows how to make me laugh, and he loves to do all the same things I like to do. And on top of his great personality, he is drop dead gorgeous. Sexy grey eyes hide behind long lashes, while full lips adorn his perfectly sculpted face. He always has what appears to be a five o’clock shadow, and his kind of shaggy brown hair completes his bad boy look that screams kiss me.

 

As he looks down at me now, I cant help but think that life is perfect. That nothing could get better, and how it seems like nothing bad can ever happen as long as he is holding me. But in the back of my mind, I know I’m wrong. Life can get better, and bad things really can happen.

 

He let a small chuckle escape his lips, and he brought the hand that was running down my spine up to tangle in my hair. Pulling me as close as he could he ran his hand through my hair until I fell asleep. I could only hope that I wouldn’t start dreaming of or having the memory again.

　

 

 

 

Author's Note

I know that this may not make a lot of sence yet, but I promise that all the Twilight people are in this book. In a few chapters this will all come together.

Let me know what you all think about it. Feedback is appreaciated. Thanks.

Also, please inform me of any spelling and grammer mistakes in here. I posted this on a different website and they rejected it. They told me they rejected it because it had two spelling mistakes and one grammer mistake. Those have been fixed, but please tell me if you find more. Thanks again.

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from the Twilight Saga. All rights go to Stephine Myer.