Ignorant dreamer

when you are in love, you tend to ignore all the bads and dream all the goods.

I am ignorant. 

I ignored the truth, there should not be anymore excuses for him. 

I need to admit that he is just not that into me and he doesn't care. 

No news for days, I am frustrated, angry, hurt and disappointed. 

I hate that he does not want the same as me, but I do know that, affection feeling is something no one can control. 

I kept asking myself, what's wrong with me? I might not be pretty enough for him, not smart enough, not fun enough but still, I have everything to offer...but I know, he doesn't want a bit of it. 

I am a dreamer, thank you for the last 6 months, the fantasies of a life with him. I keep on dreaming and ignoring the little he offered, the 5 dates that he spared me, the one line texts, the 30 seconds voice message when I needed a little more attention while I was weak.

I am gutted, I told myself that he is a busy man, I shouldn't bother him. I need to understand that he is not good in communication, as that's what he had told me when I want him to understand how I feel about the way we communicate. 

I am a dreamer, I fantasise we are the strongest partner who would support each other in any way. We share moments, we learn from each other, we travel together, we make love, we care and get to know each other better day by day. I would cook for him and kick his a*s to exercise so we can live healthily. I dream to give him the best and bring the best out of him. To make him the happiest man. 

But then, I am still ignorant, I ignored my selfishness, I am blaming him on not feeling the same as I do. I live in a fantasy, a love story of my own and I carry on dreaming that at one point, he will give me a moment of his life, minutes where there are only him and myself.

Chele.KY.