In Time

In all the tears we have shed,

From birth through tribulations and grief each meet

Pushing aside our greatest fears for the reason,

How after being knocked down we rose back to our feet

Time after time we have bled,

Just as our wounds have scabbed to heal

So to has our existence,

Which contains both life and death for us to feel

We are from which we have fled,

A people Lost and hopeless yet still going forward

In a direction that should be questioned,

Is this the right or wrong way in which we move toward?

Will we confront the things that we Dred?

Into the unknown within all its mysterious space

With mountains to climb,

And cliffs abound which require leaps of faith

See now in the lives we have led:

O U R S E L V E S !

Author's Note

This is a revised version of an original that was put down while just playing around with words. (Which I love to do)... I have to thank Richard Puetter, for his comments and suggestions. I took his advice and rolled up my sleeves to give it something more.

Thank you Rick, looking forward to more challenges. :)


The original:

In all the tears we have shed.

Time after time we have bled.

We are from which we have fled.

Will we face what we have dred?

See now in the lives we have led.

O
U
R
S
E
L
V
E
S
!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Great use of words and thoughts.
"We are from which we have fled,
A people Lost and hopeless yet still going forward
In a direction that should be questioned,
Is this the right or wrong way in which we move toward?"
Right or wrong. We must go forward. I do agree. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Tomoe Tellez]

Wow! The way you have arranged the structure of this poem is really great. And I love the way you highlighted the first words and how they say something put together. Great job!

[Lyingwithlions]

Thank you for the review. It was fun creating this piece.

[Robert]

Nicely done about time, future. Great that another took the time to help you.

[Bear]

There comes a time to slap a poet on the back and boast of their mastery with words. And then there is a time when a poets words leaves you speechless and all you can do is Stand and applaud. Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! This is one of those times :~)

[Lyingwithlions]

I am truly overwhelmed with gratitude for such a gracious comment!

Your review inspires me to keep learning all that I can, and continue to keep trying harder.

Thank you, you made my day even more wonderful. :)

-Chuck

[Dara]

You have such a way with words! This is just wonderful and I think it is great how you found someone in which to get advice and grow from. Write on!! :-}

[Lyingwithlions]

Thank you cousin, so do you! The kindness and generosity from those willing to take the time and help me and others better their skills is incredible. I couldn't be more thankful. :)
Also for you, for recommending the Writers Café to me. It has helped me so much, in many ways!!

[Dara]

I couldn't be happier and am so impressed with your writing! Looking forward to reading much more of your work. Take care!

[Cherry Pepperweb]

Wonderful job.
It's great when we get valuable advice to grow and improve.
But I applaud you for rising to the challenge. Sometimes people hate critique, even when it's well meaning.

[Lyingwithlions]

Thank you! I'll accept all the critique given, it will only make me better at what I love to do. :)

[binibiningmaya]

"How after being knocked down we rose back to our feet"

This line Sir gave me courage to stand up again...
Thanks a lot for this wonderful piece..
^________^

[Lyingwithlions]

Thank you so much! That gave me a huge smile. :)

[binibiningmaya]

You are most welcome Sir :)

[Rick Puetter]

Yes, our lives are a sort of fingerprint of the people we are. A good observation.

Enjoyed.

Best regards,

Rick