Epilogue: War Was Hell

All five women gain some much-needed closure on their drama once World War III finally comes to an end.

At long last, after almost a full year of separation from their families, sleeping in shoddily-built camps, and massacring foreigners by the truckload, everyone in the U.S. Military finally makes their way home after cementing themselves as the undisputed winners of World War III. Little do all these soldiers know that they weren't the only ones struggling this year, for all of their cohorts back at home have also been hard at work for the entire duration of the war.

That statement proves to be doubly true for our five heroes as they've spent all that time solving problems of their own. Rosemary dealt with the hardships that come with surprise pregnancies, Katrina struggled under Mark's workload while he was away, Danielle and Roxanne became despondent and thus coped with their loneliness in differing ways, and Tequila juggled vacationing with patching up her family's drama. And now, as of late December, all of their hard work is about to pay off as each of their lives are returned to normal at long last.

Over in Kicksburg one evening, Rosemary and Katrina sit on either side of a basinet, gently rocking it as Primrose rests inside. All the while a slideshow of family photographs is playing on the nearby TV with "You're The Cream In My Coffee" by Seth MacFarlane playing in the background. Also paying a visit to the manor are Justine and Priscilla, all excited to see the new addition to the Simmons family while also anticipating the return of both Mark and Mark Jr. Originally, the mayor of the town planned a large party to celebrate their return, seeing how they're the most famous family within its borders, but Katrina declined, preferring that they celebrate with just their family.

It just so happens that this basinet was the same one that both of Katrina's children once slept in. Speaking of Katrina, she is currently dressed in bell-bottomed jeans and white cowboy boots, alongside a skimpy, patriotic-colored bandeau top with shoulder-less sleeves spangled with fringe.

"Ugh, I don't think I can even look at you for the rest of the night, at least not while you're dressed like that." Priscilla gives her sister a goading smirk, never missing a chance to tease her. "Oh, and by the way I had a member of my costume crew make that outfit for you. You're welcome."

"Oh, lighten up." Justine wraps an arm around her aunt. "Just think. Soon, both Dad and Junior will walk right through that door and we'll all celebrate. And then we can all indulge in the feast that Mom and I cooked up, and it's back to the status quo for all of our lives."

"You know, I'm surprised you guys don't just hire a cooking staff like any normal rich family would." Priscilla rolls her eyes.

Before long, Katrina stands up and briefly walks into the kitchen. Rosemary ignores the banter going on between everyone else and instead takes a look down at her sleeping daughter. The very child that Junior implanted in her without realizing it.

"You'd better wake up soon, sweetie," she whispers with a soft smile. "Because Daddy's gonna be coming home soon, and I know he can't wait to meet you."

"Gotta say, it's not very often I see a baby who looks that cute so soon after being born," Priscilla comments. "Heh, I remember the exact moment when Katrina was born, and I was like, 'Mom, what the f**k did you just give birth to?'"

"And then Dad made ya' use dish soap as mouthwash for a month straight," Katrina snarks.

"Oh hush, there's no way you remember that."

"I don't need to. He simply told me after the fact."

Before another bout of sibling bickering can commence, everyone pauses at the sound of the front doors being unlocked and creaking open, before rejoicing once again as Mark and Junior both walk in, seemingly in good shape despite their slightly disheveled uniforms. Both of their normally clean-shaven faces are now garnished with thick beards, due to having gone so long without access to a good razor.

"Wow, Katrina! You look great!" Mark coos, stepping up to his sister-in-law.

"Thanks. I'm barren," Priscilla snarks.

"Naw, I'm just kidding." Mark sidesteps past her and runs over to kiss his wife for the first time in forever. "Hoo boy, its good to be back! Nice outfit, by the way."

"Well let's just say I got a little inspiration from the letters ya' sent me," Katrina giggles, striking a seductive pose and putting an index finger by her mouth.

"Can't even begin to describe how glad I am to see you back home." Justine struggles not to cry, hugging her brother and father at the same time.

"Can't begin to describe how good it feels to be back," Junior replies, only to be taken by surprise as his mother hugs him from behind.

"Hah! You thought you could try and avoid huggin' me?!" Katrina says.

"Of course not, Mom," Junior chuckles, before noticing Rosemary standing a few yards before him. "Ah, how could I forget?"

Without wasting another second, he hurries over towards his wife and the two sink into a deep kiss as they wrap their arms around each other.

"God knows how glad I am to see you home in one piece," Rosemary coos.

"Likewise. But uh, did anything eventful happen while I was gone?" Junior asks.

"Glad you asked," Rosemary replies, leading her husband into the living room where the basinet is located. "Junior... I'd like you to meet our daughter."

"...D-Daughter?" Junior c***s an eyebrow.

"Yep. After you left, I discovered I was pregnant. And the DNA test proves that she is indeed your kid," Rosemary explains in a somewhat snarky tone. "So surprise!"

"Oh, I don't think I'll need a paternity test to figure that one out." Junior peers into the crib, smiling as he watches their child slowly wake up. "I mean look, she's got my eyes."

"And it wouldn't surprise me if she ends up needing glasses in the future as well," Priscilla jeers as she and the others approach them.

"What's going on here?" Mark asks, scratching his slowly balding head.

"Let's just say your legacy's gonna last for another generation," Katrina softly says, putting an arm around his broad shoulders.

The room goes silent as Junior extends a finger into the basinet, watching as Primrose grips it with her tiny hands in piqued curiosity. Rosemary then reaches into the bed and picks the baby up, before slowly guiding her into her husband's arms for the first time in her life. To everyone's surprise, Primrose does not cry at all, nor does she try to wriggle out of his grip. Instead, she looks up at her father's face and even laughs a little.

"Already giving me grandkids, huh? Congratulations, son." Mark smiles and places a hand on Junior's shoulder. "Way to make your old man proud like you always have."

Before anyone else can speak up, a few seconds of beeping can be heard from the oven in the kitchen.

"Well why don't y'all start eatin' dinner? Go on, mangia mangia," Katrina suggests, panning her hand towards the dining room table, occupied by a massive Italian feast. "As for me, I'd better go check on the placenta."

"Wait, what?! Oh god, I think I'm gonna be sick," Priscilla groans with a hand over her stomach.

"You seriously kept that thing?!" Rosemary grimaces in disgust.

"Hey don't get fresh with me, young lady. It's a family tradition, for Pete's sake! Plus, it supposedly helps reduce stress," Katrina replies. "Now while we's eatin', why don't I go into more depth about all the s**t I've been up to during the war?"

"Mom, not in front of the baby!" Justine argues.

---

Meanwhile, things aren't going quite as well for poor Danielle, who busies herself in her urban New Orleans apartment. She's off work for the holidays, so she has no choice but to face the news she's just received head on. At the moment, she busies herself slumped on the couch as she marathons through Netflix originals, indulging in a two-gallon tub of rocky road ice cream and a bottle of malt alcohol; the latter of which quickly begins to taste disgusting due to the lingering taste of the former.

As if this day couldn't get any worse, she groans to herself.

Lo and behold, there's a knocking at the door, forcing her to sigh irately and get up, stomping into the small foyer in nothing but a lacy chemise that can hardly cover her underwear. Normally she would put on something a bit more modest to greet strangers at the door, but at the moment she couldn't care less how she looks and is just flustered at how somebody has the nerve to disturb her relative peace.

Opening the door reveals a familiar face that she's had no intention to see ever again for the longest time now.

"Ocasio?" Danielle asks. "Just what are you doing here?"

"Listen, I know you don't want to see me anymore, but... I uh, heard about Blake," Ocasio replies. "Just wanted to say I'm really sorry for your loss."

"Yeah, sure. Look, I know what you're trying to do, and I'm gonna tell you upfront. It's not gonna work!" Danielle snaps. "Just leave me alone before I sock you in the jaw again!"

Ocasio says nothing for a few moments, ogling his former flame for a bit before fixing his eyes on hers once more.

"I don't get what your deal is," he says after a sigh. "I mean, I've never done anything to you. When I saw you at the farmer's market after all these years, I thought this could be my chance to settle down with you. I... I love you."

"Well you sure had a funny way of showing it. All you managed to do was coax me into your pants again." Danielle puts her hands on her hips.

"Nuh-uh, you did that on your own." Ocasio folds his arms. "Face it Dani. You cheating on Blake was solely your choice, but you know what? I'm not even gonna hold it over your head. It's clear you still have some feelings for me, and vice-versa. Instead of just blaming me for what you did, why not just settle in with me and make it official?"

"Why don't you face it?!" Danielle starts heaving. "I will never get back with you again! Hell, I'm not even sure if I'll ever get with anyone else!"

"What?" Ocasio asks.

"Goodbye, Ocasio." Danielle slams the door in his face and returns to sulking in front of the TV. "Finally, that lunkhead's gone."

---

It's late at night over in Phoenix but Tequila remains wide awake, dressed in nothing but an oxford blue Alphalete crop top and matching underwear with no bra. She's promised not to set foot anywhere near her bed until her husband gets back home safe and sound, and has positioned one of the living room's armchairs so that Jasper will see it when he comes inside. The back of the chair faces the foyer, as does Tequila's face, though the rest of her body is turned away. A saxophone is cradled between her legs on the ground as she waits anxiously.

It feels like forever since the last time she was able to have a moment of peace to herself. She's spent nearly a year traveling for the purposes of taking it easy, only to get wrapped up in the issues plaguing her mother and brother and having to fix them. She generally hates getting in other people's business, but it's her family, so she feels she has no choice. And now her reward for all the (mostly) hard work she's done is the chance to see her husband and college friend again after so many months. It's the longest he's ever been away by far, and hopefully that record will not be broken anytime soon.

After what feels like the passing of several hours, the front door finally opens up. A navy uniform-clad Jasper limps his way in, sporting casts on his right arm and left leg and holding himself up with a single crutch. His dark brown hair that Tequila loves so much is now styled into a man-bun, presumably to keep it secured under his helmet. It's a style she hates, but right now, she couldn't care less.

"I'm home!" he calls out.

Tequila does not reply, but starts to play The Star Spangled Banner on her saxophone, somehow without using her mouth. This causes her husband to look around curiously.

"Oh, Jasper..." she coyly says at last.

"Yep, that's me. Lord knows how good it is to see you again!" Jasper continues, stepping into the living room. "What, you're not gonna properly greet me after all this time?"

Without saying anything more, Tequila turns around in her chair, revealing her legs to be spread out and her panties dropped as she continues to play the song, biting her lip occasionally.

"Say no more..." Jasper comments as a smirk creeps up his right cheek.

---

For Roxanne, things still aren't going so hot. She continues to spend her days brooding in her undecorated condo, desperately waiting for Trevor's body to be flown back from overseas so she can get the funeral services over with. The act of waiting for such a thing to happen is just agonizing, even for someone who's put up with a lot of crap over the course of her life.

And to top it all off, it just so happens to be Christmas Eve, with Christmas Day looming ahead by just a few hours. It'll mark the first time she's ever had to spend such a holiday alone since that one time during her prostitution career all those decades ago. Oh, if only there was something to help her take her mind off this whole ordeal.

"Meet you all the way~! Duh-nuh-nuh~! Roxanna, yeah...~"

And as if to answer her predicament, she hears a man singing out in the hallway, but she doesn't quite get the hint yet. Instead, Roxanne's first instinct is to head to the door and open it, telling whoever it is out there to knock it off at such a late hour. However, she immediately freezes as soon as she gets it open.

There, standing right on her doorstep, is none other than Trevor Bordeaux himself. Contrary to what he's supposedly been through, he looks to be in near-perfect condition. His uniform is as clean as ever, and all the traits that Roxanne admires about him are all present and accounted for... save for the black eyepatch replacing his left hazel eye, and the polished wooden cane in his left hand, a necessary item due to the loss of copious knee cartilage.

"Told you I'd be home for Christmas, didn't I?" he asks smugly.

As soon as he utters those words, Roxanne starts to feel lightheaded and passes out, though luckily Trevor is there to catch her. He shuts the door and, with a considerable limp, carries her into the bedroom, where she wakes up not long after being dropped onto the king-sized bed.

"T-Trevor?! But how... how did you... I-I mean..." she stutters uncontrollably. "Th-They told me you were dead!"

"Pfft, they probably just said that because everyone in my plane was knocked out and I was the least likely to survive," Trevor explains. "But lo and behold, I failed to meet their expectations."

Roxanne doesn't say another world and quickly embraces Trevor into as tight of a hug as she can muster, letting out a series of trembling, hiccuping sobs into his chest as he rubs her back ever so gently.

"Don't you ever toy with me like that again!" she scolds through her tears.

"And don't you worry," Trevor replies tenderly as the two kiss. "Now I think it's safe to say you missed me quite a lot while I was away."

"Understatement of the century." Roxanne puts on a weak smile.

~ ~ ~ The End ~ ~ ~