Chapter 17: Hack and Slash

Garfield Kramer is the only thing left stopping our heroes from entering the prison... but not for long.

"Well now, it seems you three were smart enough to take out my minions and undo my hacking into the prison's security system. Maybe defeating you won't be overly easy after all." Garfield smirked.

"You don't say," Tequila replied flatly. "Look, can we just skip the song and dance and get this battle over with? We've got places to be."

"Glad you asked." Garfield pressed a button in his hand, causing the lock on the crate to break and fall to the ground.

The side of the crate then opened up as a gray and neon-green mech suit about the size of a gorilla jogged out into the open. As it approached, Garfield leapt into the air and performed a few backflips, landing perfectly into the cockpit and activating an electrified glass screen to protect himself.

"What's with the dumb looks? Were you expecting me to take you guys on all by myself? You really think I'm as stupid as you sheep-brains?" Garfield snarked. "...I only said 'sheep-brains' because birds are actually more intelligent than we give them credit for. Sheep on the other hand, are so dumb that farmers in Ireland have to keep them fenced in at all times, or else they'll mindlessly walk off a cliff."

"Okay, we get it." I rolled my eyes. "Now let's just do this, already."

Without further ado, my partners and I widely spread ourselves out around the open area we fought in. It was obvious that Garfield was a man of exceedingly high intelligence, but surely even he wouldn't be able to tackle all of us at once. So long as we weren't all in the same spot, that is. In addition to hand-to-hand combat, his mech's capabilities seemed to include firing green lasers from its hands, and completely electrifying itself to block attacks. It also seemed to be surprisingly mobile, capable of leaping and hovering several yards into the air, and dashing around quickly no thanks to the jets on its back and feet.

Knowing that our guns would not have an effect on Garfield while he was inside his mech, we resorted to dodging his attacks and trying to counter with physical strikes whenever it wasn't electrified, though these resulted in little if any damage to our opponent. In a desperate maneuver, I lifted Tequila up onto one shoulder and ran forwards for a bit, before throwing her forwards like a two-handed javelin. She performed a few front-flips as she flew over the mech's head, before switching her boots to cleat mode and nailing it in the back with a dropkick. This caused the mech to fall forwards, prompting me to hurry over in hopes of capitalizing on its vulnerability. Tequila proceeded to stomp on its legs with her spiked feet for a bit, before stopping as she noticed something on the mech's back.

"Huh? What's this?" she asked, bending over and opening a small flap. "Hey, it's some sort of chip. Maybe we could- Rrraaaggghhh!"

Without warning, she found herself electrocuted.

"Gah, s**t! I've been electrocuted way too many times on this excursion," Tequila muttered angrily. "Looks like he really thought of everything, huh?"

"Well of course I did. It's called being a genius! A'doy!" Garfield barked back as his mech stood up.

He quickly knocked her aside with a powerful slap, before he electrified his entire being and began to rampage around the loading dock, making usage of his punches and lasers, which we were forced to dodge with no easy way to counterattack. One of the lasers was shot at Xavier, who leapt into the air to avoid it, backflipping over the large crate behind him and staying hidden.

"Bah, I'll deal with that coward later," Garfield scoffed. "Now hold still so I can take you two out! I may not be able to get any money, but at least I'll have the bragging rights, and my fragile ego will be unbruised for another day!"

This left Tequila and I to dodge the oncoming assault like before, this time with much better timing required. Occasionally, one of us would take a hit, but would quickly shrug it off and get back up as the indecisive fight dragged on. Eventually, I got the idea to switch my gloves to electric mode in order to safely counter the strikes, but even with my wife working alongside me, we still couldn't land another blow on our foe.

It was then that Garfield's mech suit suddenly shut down and stood in place.

"Wait, wait?! No! What's going on?! I specifically made sure this thing was impossible to defeat!" he screamed, his ego obviously hurt.

"Well nothing's impossible if you truly put your mind to it," Xavier replied, stepping back out into the open. "While I was hidden back there, I scanned your suit and detected that chip that acts as its power source. By hacking into it, I now have control over it."

"You son of a bi- Yaaaggghhh!" Garfield shrieked as he was suddenly lifted out of the cockpit by his own mech.

He was then roughly tossed onto the hard ground, before the mech stomped hard on his back, loudly crushing many of his bones and forming a dark puddle of blood that expanded at a rapid pace. His bloody, unconscious frame was then lifted back into the cockpit, which sealed itself immediately afterwards. As Xavier's smirk quickly broadened, the mech proceeded to casually walk off the edge and into the river, where it immediately short-circuited and sank to the bottom with its owner trapped inside, presumably to die.

"Alright! Nice going, X!" I slapped a hand onto his back.

"Don't mention it. Now let's go rescue your mother-in-law!" Xavier replied, letting my praise roll off his back like water.

---

Making our way back to the prison entrance, we were able to successfully hack the security panels and enter the building. While searching for our targets, we would often come across groups of freed inmates, all of which had a bone to pick with us, for much like the assassins, they had also been Gonzalez supporters.

Eventually, we wound up in the penitentiary. A massive wrestling cage was present in the middle, with who appeared to be The Drunken Bull standing inside it. Off to the side was Garbanzo, grinning evilly and still wearing his silk R&B outfit. He stared down Carmen, who was strapped to the outside of the cage with numerous pieces of rope. There were some metal fences separating our half of the room from the other half, where crowds of inmates were gathered as though they were in a stadium.

"Rrgh! What do you want with me?! And... and who even are you?!" Carmen asked as she struggled to break free, her Chilean accent twice as thick as her daughter's.

"Heh heh, well... let's just say your daughter and I go way back. And man oh man, has she grown into a fine young woman. Surprised she didn't become a model like you did," Garbanzo chuckled sinisterly. "Speaking of which, you look damn good for someone who's had two kids."

"Yeah, well being a teenage parent will do that to you," Carmen replied. "They say your mid-teens is the ideal time to bear children, as your body tends to not only recover better, but also much faster during that part of your life."

"Oh, hey Tequila! We were just talking about you!" Garbanzo cooed upon seeing us walk in.

"We're not here to see you, so get the f**k over yourself!" Tequila snarled, cutting him off. "I'm just here to take back my mom, and maybe kick your a*s too if necessary!"

"Ah, it seems even after all these years, you still have that bite to you," Garbanzo mused. "Y'know, ever since we first met, I couldn't help but feel some spark between us, and ever since high school, it seems as though that awkward part of your personality has melted away. And now it's up to me to... lick up the puddle!"

Tequila just scoffed and balled her fists.

"Hija, how long has he been talking to you this way?!" Carmen's tone was furious.

"Since high school. I tried to tell you back then, but you just laughed at me," Tequila explained. "But enough dawdling. Let my mother go right now, before I do something I might regret!"

"Oh, don't worry your pretty little head. I'll release her... provided her brains don't get fried like chicharrones beforehand." Garbanzo grinned. "See, it turns out that our good friend The Drunken Bull over here was never in it for the money, and would've tried to kill you three no matter what, so long as he was released. So I suggested we play a little game of 'who lives, who dies'. As soon as he clamps on that heart monitor he's holding, his pulse will slowly but surely charge up the walls of this electrified wrestling cage, and once that battery's at 100%, then zap!"

At this, the crowd rejoiced in excitement as my friends and I put on some appalled expressions.

"So the aim of the game is simple: kill The Drunken Bull as quickly as possible in order to keep Mommy from dying young, or lay down your own life instead, though I doubt it'll be the easiest thing in the world," Garbanzo explained. "Now seeing how this whole scheme was an act of revenge on the movement that killed my beloved father, and my preference for one-on-one confrontations, I suggest we start with the man who started it all!"

"I think he's talking to you, Jasper," Xavier mumbled.

"Yeah, I know," I replied, my voice dark as I slowly stepped forward. "Challenge accepted!"

"Good, good, you'd be a coward to decline." Garbanzo grinned unnervingly. "Now are you folks ready for a show tonight?!"

The crowd did nothing more than applaud and cheer, peppered with the occasional whistle.

"Glad to hear it. Now let's get this show on the road! Nyahahahahahahaha!" Garbanzo finished, casually leaning against the brick wall as he let out an evil cackle.

"You may call yourself The Drunken Bull, but as soon as this is over, you'll be called Drunken Bull-S**t." I sneered at my opponent. "I swear on my mom's grave!"